An Ode to the Fandom I Didn't Know I Needed
by anon33125
Summary: Alexis Castle x Kevin Ryan Slow burn, trying to keep in character, but some of the timelines are a bit messed up, better description of that in the first A/N. Basically, Alexis and Ryan become friends due to their issues with relationships. Lots of fluff. I don't own Castle. This is purely for my own (and your) entertainment.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Set around the time that Alexis has realized that she doesn't want to live with Pi, so she's still in college, but I'm moving her age up to around 21/22, so senior year. I'm also messing with other parts of the canon timeline, in my story, Ryan and Jenny have only been engaged for a couple months (no baby). Beckett and Castle are together, but not engaged yet. I haven't actually watched every episode for seasons 5-8, just a few episodes here and there, so I apologize if anything is grossly out of context.

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Alexis Castle was absolutely 100% sick of telling Pi to just put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket instead of on the floor. If she was being truly honest with herself, she would admit that absolutely everything about Pi was setting her off now. He seemed to have half his mind flying away in the wind with his bees at any given moment anyway, and she needed more than that. She was wasn't clingy or high-maintenance (that she thought), but still she needed more than what he could give her. And her father was right. Moving in with him was an absolutely terrible idea.

Alexis was contemplating her entire relationship with Pi as she stood outside their apartment building. It wasn't really in a good part of the city, but there were some semi-respectable apartment buildings nearby. And also, a bar just down the block. King Charlie's. Who knew why it was called that? It wasn't even a British or Irish pub; she'd asked the bartender once why it was called King Charlie's and he'd just shrugged and told her he figured there was someone named Charlie in the owner's life. May have been named after his dog. Pi had merely told Alexis to stop being so concerned with the things that already were, such as the names of bars that she didn't own. She asked too many questions, she was too curious, she needed to learn how to chill. Alexis rolled her eyes internally at herself, some day there would be a man who loved and accepted her exactly as she was. Clearly, that man was not Pi. She straightened her shoulders and turned herself around to walk to the bar. She didn't want to see his stupid face just yet, alcohol would help.

Walking into Charlie's, Alexis made a beeline for the barstool that had two empty ones on either side of it. She wasn't looking to flirt or get hit on tonight, she just wanted a couple drinks.

"Hey, Lex, how's it going tonight?" the bartender, Lenny, greeted her with a soft smile.

"Hey Len," Alexis tried to give him a smile back that was more contented than she felt. "Not bad, I'll just have a beer. Whatever's on tap."

"No Pi?" He asked, pulling a glass down from the shelf behind him.

"Nope," Alexis didn't bother to explain and instead glanced around to see what the overall situation of the bar was this Wednesday evening. She'd been in the bar plenty of times, mostly during the day when Pi was being obnoxiously loud with his music and she wanted to study. That was how she'd gotten to know Lenny. But there was the occasional night that she came here with Paige and Taylor or Pi had stalked her out. She recognized a couple of other student regulars, with their laptops out trying to fit in a last-minute cram session. She also recognized a few local regulars, halfway to their limit when Lenny would call them a cab. She turned her attention back to her companions on barstools facing the taps, one guy trying desperately to hook up with a girl who was paying him zero attention and. Wait. Was that?

"Detective Ryan?" Alexis frowned at the man closest to her, two stools away. The normally jovial cop had three empty shot glasses and a half-finished whiskey in front of him; his chin rested on arms folded on the bar as bright blue eyes dejectedly watched the ice melt in the whiskey. When Alexis spoke his name, a crease appeared on his forehead and he tilted the rest of his head in her direction.

"Hmm?" When he squinted at her, she noticed those baby blue eyes were rimmed with red and his whole demeanor seemed to sag. "Little Castle?"

"Yeah," she moved over a couple stools so that she was sitting next to him. "You ok?"

Rather than answer her, he downed the fresh shot of vodka that Lenny placed in front of him.

"Ryan?" Alexis tried again, carefully prodding his shoulder.

" 'M fine," he grumbled out, sitting up so that his shoulder was a little further from her reach. "Why are you here?"

"My apartment is just down the block," she replied, waiting for his eyes to realign on her.

"The Views?" He asked, referencing one of the nicer complexes on the other block. She shook her head.

"The Old Mill," she said, trying to force herself to not be overly embarrassed about her current squalor.

"Lots of drugs there," Ryan replied, pressing his lips together, and looking like he was debating between giving her a lecture about drug safety or puking.

"I know," she groaned, "It reeks, all the time. And Dad really wasn't happy, but it's the only thing I can afford without relying on his money."

The more she talked, the lower Ryan sank back onto the bar. As if it had suddenly become too much effort to hold himself up.

"Why are you here?" She asked, prodding him to get him to sit straight again while Lenny placed her beer in front of her.

Once again, he didn't bother responding to her question, just drank a large gulp of his whiskey, put his head back onto his arms, and grumbled something about rich kids. Alexis rolled her eyes and drank her own beer. She wasn't a stereotypical rich kid, she wanted to earn her own way as much as anyone else, so if that meant living in the dumps for a while, well, that was what she had to do. Even if she hated it. Even if it only contributed ever more to her realization that life and love were no fairy tale.

"You know him?" Lenny asked her as he set another shot in front of Ryan's folded arms.

"Yeah, Ryan works with my dad," Alexis said, giving Lenny a questioning glance. Lenny just snorted at her suspicious eyes, then jerked his head to the side and lowered his voice. Alexis moved in closer to hear him.

"He's a good guy, turns up every now and then for a late drink. Came home from work today to find that his fiancé moved out, left the ring on the kitchen counter. Asked me to get him smashed enough that he can't remember her, problem is, he's got the tolerance of a damn elephant."

"Jenny left?" Alexis's eyes widened and she snuck a glance at the man beside her, no wonder he was so out of it. She'd thought they were perfect together; two bright, optimistic people ready to settle down and start their white picket fence family. "Damn."

"Yeah," Lenny nodded. "If you're a friend, help him get home tonight? Or maybe call your dad? Someone close to him?"

"Yeah," Alexis sighed and drank more of her beer. Lenny squeezed her forearm in thanks before paying attention to someone else at the bar flagging him down.

Alexis pulled out her phone and scrolled through the contacts list. She could call her dad, but he and Beckett probably had plans tonight, and she really didn't want him to see her drowning her sorrows away and get into an I-told-you-so battle about Pi. She could call Esposito. Her thumb hovered over the name on her phone, if anyone was closest with Ryan in that department, of course it would be his partner.

She turned her head to look at the now five empty shot glasses in front of the short brunet. Why hadn't Ryan himself called Esposito? What if her calling him made something between them worse? Maybe there was a reason Ryan hadn't wanted to tell him. She had no doubts that if Esposito knew about Jenny leaving, he'd be here. So would her dad. And Beckett. Even Lanie. They cared about each other, looked out for one another. But he hadn't reached out. And as she sat there, finishing her beer, Esposito's phone number ready to be dialed, she thought maybe she knew why. Maybe it was the same reason she was determined to stick it out with her rental agreement with Pi. Sometimes you just had to deal with your own shit on your own. And sometimes your pride could only take so much of a hit in one day.

Alexis clicked her phone off and ordered two shots of vodka.

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Drinking does very funny things to you when you're upset. Sometimes it makes you feel more depressed and sometimes, if everything falls into place in just the right way, it makes you feel like you are on top of the world.

By the time Lenny practically shoved Alexis and Ryan out of the bar, they were both about three sheets to the wind.

"I sh-sh-should walk… you hommmme?" Ryan stuttered, arm wrapping around Alexis's shoulder and paying more attention to how his feet were planted on the ground than either where they were going or what he was saying.

"Don't wanna go home," Alexis grumbled back, leaning into Ryan pushing him to change his course from her apartment.

"Can't t-t-t-take you to Casssle like this," Ryan replied, giggling to himself as he righted their course leading away from the bar. Alexis giggled in response as she tripped over his feet while they turned. "Have a second bedroom. For the babies ah'll never have."

Alexis just grasped his waist for a little more balance and leverage to look him in the eyes. Sort of. Very blue eyes. "You will someday!"

"Nah, nope, nope. Don't want em with anyone else. No babies for me. An' no wife either. Alone again. Always alone. 'Sn't that a joke? Something 'm'..Memm. No! Meme. Forever alone. Should be my face on that."

If Alexis was thinking more clearly, she may have tried to argue more, as it was, she just needed to focus on keeping them both upright as he rambled, he'd started leaning precariously closely to the edge of the sidewalk. The last thing either of them needed was to be injured falling into the street and getting hit by a car or something.

"Shut up, Ryan. At least Jenny left," Alexis interrupted his diatribe. "I'd r'ther be alone than have a stupid, messy, bee-counting stalker for a boyfriend. But nooooo, boy won't leave me alone enough to let me study. My degree would need to support his stupid ass."

"Ooo, bad word," Ryan reeled back when she said 'ass', but he reeled too far and almost took them both down next to the entry stairs of an apartment building. "Casssle's gonna be mad."

Alexis clutched Ryan's waist tighter and Ryan's hold around her shoulders slipped squeezing her upper arm. They both giggled at each other as they tried to right themselves again. Eventually, they straightened out and Alexis made to keep moving, but Ryan held steady.

"My building," he said jerking his head towards the entry way. "Come up."

Alexis didn't question it, just followed him along as he got his keys out to unlock the door and they made their slow, wandering way up the stairs.

Ryan's apartment wasn't nearly the crap shack that Alexis was currently living in. It was a small, but clean, two-bedroom apartment, spotless kitchen, overstuffed old couch in front of a good-sized tv, bookshelf devoted to Castle's novels. Alexis lost control of her laughter when she saw that. She knew Ryan was a fan of his books, but man, that was every single thing Richard Castle had ever written.

Ryan closed the door behind them and then started pushing her towards one of the bedrooms. There was a bed, a nightstand, and a light in it, but not much else.

"Was more in it," Ryan sighed as Alexis tripped out of her shoes and threw her coat down on the bed. "Was Jenny's stuff."

" 'S perfect," Alexis murmured, shoving her nose into a clean pillow that did not have the lingering scent of weed or dirt. It just smelled fresh, like clean sheets. "Perfect."

Ryan snorted at the sight of her, acting like she hadn't seen a real bed in years.

"Night, Lil Casssle," he said, making his way out of the guest room/ex-nursery and into his own bedroom. Alexis didn't even bother to respond, just mumbled something unintelligible into her pillow.

Alexis must have been asleep for an hour or so before the increasingly urgent need to find a bathroom made itself known. She groaned as she rolled out of the perfectly clean bed, and felt her way along the walls until she found a small room that had a sink in it. Must be the bathroom. She peed, washed her hands, and drank some water straight from the tap, feeling ever so slightly less giggly-drunk and more need-to-crash-now drunk.

As she left the bathroom, she glanced around and realized she had no idea which direction she came from. She groaned, letting her head fall against the wall. Oh well, the next soft thing she found was just going to end up being her bed for the night.

Fortunately, the first door she pushed open did have a bed in it. An occupied bed. Alexis frowned at the figure collapsed on top of the sheets. He still had his shoes on. For some reason, that was the part that struck her as unacceptable. She stumbled her way into the room and sat down on the bed by his feet, struggled to slip the shoes off, and then crawled up the rest of the bed until her head hit clean pillows again. There was no lingering scent in them, _Damn Jenny, couldn't let him have any little thing left of you_, she thought, oddly sobered by the fact that Jenny must have washed even the pillowcases before she moved out.

Alexis shimmied around in the bed to get under some blankets and the fact that the body next to her started grumbling, moving with her didn't bother her nearly as much as it should have. Once they both finally got comfortable, Alexis found herself with the heavy weight of an arm across her back and her legs tangled between his. Her still drunk mind simply rationalized this as Pi being particularly clingy tonight, maybe he realized he was losing her.

" 'Night Pi," she muttered, tucking her head under his much-less-scruffy-than-normal chin. She was already asleep when the muffled response came from the face squished into a pillow.

" 'Night Jenny."

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As Alexis slowly came to her senses a few hours later, she realized two things. The first was that she was not sleeping in her own bed, neither the one she shared with Pi nor the one at her father's loft. The second was that the man she was tangled up next to was definitely not Pi.

Maybe if she just tried to slide her leg through that gap she could feel between his under the sheets, he wouldn't…. Shit, the snoring stopped. Alexis squeezed her eyes shut and wished as hard as humanly possible that she wasn't where she thought she was right now. When she remained in exactly the same position with the same person in the same bed, she gritted her teeth and opened her eyes. She found frowning blue eyes staring back at her, with a lack of comprehension in them.

"Alexis?" He asked, forming her name slowly with his lips, as if he wasn't at all sure why he was saying it. Then all of a sudden, his eyes dawned with understanding and widened dramatically in shock. He sat straight up, dislodging her from his arms. "We didn't..."

He pulled up the sheets covering them and looked underneath. Upon seeing that they were both still fully clothed, excepting shoes, he breathed a loud sigh of relief and let his head hit the wall behind the bed. Alexis let her breath go as well and slowly disentangled herself from him, her own head was going to start pounding soon, she knew from experience. Though at the moment, she was still feeling that mix between tipsy and sick. A glance back up at his face suggested he was feeling the same way.

"Sorry, Ryan, I got lost on the way back from the bathroom," Alexis said, half expecting him to be angry for either seeing him so vulnerable last night or just being in his bed that he had shared with Jenny. Instead he just looked at her and started laughing.

"I've never had a woman call me Ryan in bed," he said, through chuckles. "Call me by my first name."

Alexis chuckled nervously, still not sure if he was all there mentally at the moment, and then frowned. He was Detective Ryan to her, that was all she'd ever known him as. She must have heard someone use his first name at some point, but her half-drunk/half hungover brain was certainly not about to supply her with it. "Umm… this is even more awkward… What is it?"

Ryan started a fresh peal of laughter, tears leaking out from the corner of his eyes.

"Kevin," he finally managed to get out, lifting up his arm at an awkward angle so he could hold his hand out for a handshake. She grasped it and shook gently.

"Ok, Kevin," she smiled, his sudden change in mood was a little contagious. "No more 'Little Castle' then, only Alexis."

"Deal."

Alexis took her hand back from him and laid back into the pillows, it was still early, the clock next to the bed read 4:30am, and she wasn't entirely opposed to just going back to sleep. Ryan seemed equally content where he was, slowly sliding himself back down the wall to lay against his own pillow. Alexis watched him carefully for a minute and he turned his head when he felt her eyes on him.

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked after what felt like an eternity.

"Jenny left," Alexis said, ready to bolt if he took that the wrong way.

"Yeah," he replied softly, his eyes went sad and the lightness faded from his face. "We weren't doing too hot. She wanted me to leave Javi and the team; said the job was too dangerous if I was planning to be a good husband and father… I couldn't make that kind of choice. Figured she would either have to deal with it or leave me. An unspoken ultimatum. And she left."

"I'm sorry," Alexis said, she reached for his hand on top of the bedspread and squeezed it. After a moment, he squeezed hers back.

"What were you doing out last night?" He asked, turning his attention to her.

"I made a huge mistake with Pi," Alexis sighed, removing her hand from his and scrubbing at her face. "He's the messiest person I have ever seen and his job can't pay for half the rent, so he's been mooching off me. But he won't even do chores to make up for the pay difference! And he insists on playing music and smoking when I'm trying to study, so it's like he doesn't even want me to succeed, he just wants us to be happy living in filth until my dad decides to give me his money. I realized last night that I don't want to live like that, but also, this is exactly what my dad warned me about and we had a huge fight about it, so now I can't just go running home to him. I have to see it through."

"What an ass," Ryan responded, succinct and to the point. Then he reached over and ruffled her hair. "Castle would save the I-told-you-so's until you were feeling better about it though. He'll always let you go home."

"I know. But that's not the point," she said, swatting his hand away. "I just should have seen this coming; I don't know how I was so blind to it."

"You're what, 21, 22? Relationships are shit then. I mean, not that I can really say that they're any better in your 30's, but you'll figure it out. Plenty of time." With that said, he rolled off the other side of the bed and padded out the door. Alexis snuggled herself back down under the blankets. She knew she needed to get up and leave, go back to her place and try to talk to Pi. But the thing was, she was really comfortable here. And it wasn't quite 5am now, if she went back home, there was no way she'd actually get any more sleep. The sound of water running from the bathroom brought her mind out of it's wandering so she waited for Ryan to get back and likely ask her to leave.

Ryan came back into his bedroom, shedding his now wrinkled button-down shirt and slacks, revealing a short-sleeved undershirt and blue polka-dotted boxers. He rummaged in a drawer of the bureau to pull out a couple pairs of gym shorts and another t-shirt. He threw a pair of shorts and the shirt at Alexis, while putting on the other pair of shorts himself. Then he left the room again. Alexis watched him leave and looked down at the clothes. She quickly stripped off her tight, constricting skinny jeans and put on the shorts. As she took off her top, she had a brief internal debate about whether to leave her bra on or take it off, but the ache in her upper ribs quickly made that decision for her. She put the t-shirt on and then folded and stacked her clothes so that the bra was concealed between her jeans and top. She sat on the bed as she held the stack of clothes, a new debate starting about whether she was staying in this bed or going back to that guest bed.

She had pretty much decided that she was going back to the guest bed when Ryan came back into the room. He had two tall glasses of water and a bottle of aspirin. He set the water glasses on the night table and replaced the stack of clothes in her hands with the aspirin. He put her clothes on top of the bureau and she accepted that to mean she was staying in his bed. She unscrewed the bottle cap, pouring two little white pills into her hand and then another two into the hand that appeared next to hers. She swallowed the pills along with half her glass of water, then settled herself back under the sheets. Ryan took his glass to the other night stand and also got back into bed. But rather than getting under the sheets, he only pulled back the comforter, had to keep some modicum of decency she supposed.

"I can just go back to the guest bed," Alexis said hesitantly. It seemed almost wrong to talk, whatever routine he had seemed to be a silent one and she'd just been complying to it.

"Go back to sleep, Alexis," he replied, but there was a softness in his voice, almost the way it got when he would try to jokingly placate Esposito about women.

"Good night, Kevin," she responded, smiling even though his back was turned to her. She missed his answering smile.

The next time Alexis woke up, she was alone. Her water glass was full again and there was a note beside it:

_Alexis,_

_Had to go to work, use the key hanging in the kitchen to lock up when you leave, I'll get it back from you at some point._

_Thank you for last night. Whatever it was, I needed it._

_Friends?_

_Kevin_

The note gave her a goofy grin, despite the nagging hangover and the fact that she was going to be late for her 9am class, this tiny gesture made her happy. She dressed in record speed, put her borrowed clothes into the hamper and stopped in the kitchen to write a reply.

_Kevin,_

_No thanks necessary, I'm glad I was there. Reach out to me whenever you need to, any excuse to get out of my apartment ?_

_Of course we're friends, I'm insulted you have to ask._

_Alexis_


	2. Chapter 2

Detective Kevin Ryan was at a complete loss. He turned up to the 12th Precinct at 8:30am, the same way he did every morning that they didn't get summoned earlier due to a murder. And yet, today was different than any other day. It wasn't even the hangover that made it different. No, what Detective Ryan was at a loss for was the fact that he'd left a beautiful woman sound asleep in his bed. And that beautiful woman just so happened to be the 21-year-old daughter of one of his closest friends. And she was in his bed. They hadn't actually had sex which, based on how drunk Ryan had been last night, he was counting his lucky stars for. But that didn't help him shake the guilt in his gut.

"Morning, bro," Esposito's slap on the shoulder roused him out of the mental image of Alexis in his bed, wearing his clothes, golden-red curls spread across his pillows… Wow, yeah, he needed a bucket of ice.

"Hey, Javi," he replied, mentally slapping himself, replacing the image with the thought CASTLE'S DAUGHTER in a big neon-flashing sign.

"Everything ok? You seem out of it," Esposito asked, taking a seat at his desk.

"Not really," Ryan sighed, might as well get this part over with. "Jenny moved out."

"I'm so sorry, Ry," Esposito reached out to grasp his partner's shoulder. "I know you said you were fighting, but that doesn't cushion the blow."

"No," he sighed and sat back in his chair. "I knew it was coming, just hoped it would be more like 50 years from now."

Ryan gave a self-depreciating chuckle at his own statement.

"Still, better now than a short-lived, miserable marriage?" Esposito guessed gently.

"I guess."

"Want to get drunk tonight?" His partner offered with a small smile.

"Nah, I tried that last night," Ryan replied, trying as hard as he could not to blush at the rest of his activities the previous night. "I think I'm all drunk'd out for now."

"You give me a holler if you're up to try again."

"Will do, bro," Ryan tried for a genuine grin, but even he knew that it was a poor attempt. He could have called Javi last night, probably should have. This conversation they were having now though was an acceptance, she was gone and it sucked, but he knew it was the right decision for her. Last night, he'd been upset, he didn't want to accept it, he just wanted to be happy, settled, and starting his family. With the woman he loved. He would miss her sweet smile, her ability to make him forget all the dead bodies he'd seen, the sound of her laugh, the way she hummed to herself in the kitchen.

Another pat on the back from Esposito pulled him out of his musings again.

"There is someone else out there for you, Ry."

"Yeah."

"Hey guys! What's with the long faces?" Richard Castle sauntered over to the two shorter detectives. Kate Beckett slid into her own desk with a smile and a nod to her co-workers.

"Jenny's gone," Esposito said, shifting his body to give Ryan some space.

"Oh, damn, I'm sorry Ryan. Anything we can do to help?" Castle sobered immediately. Thankfully, Ryan depressing himself by thinking about Jenny had pushed his night with Alexis far from his mind, so he was able to meet Castle's eyes.

"There's nothing really, but thanks for the offer," he said, giving Castle and Beckett the same sad smile he'd given Esposito.

"Do you want to take a sick day today?" Beckett offered.

"Nah, hopefully work can get my mind off it."

"If the hangover gets bad, bro, take her up on that sick day," Esposito smirked, nudging him.

"Uh-huh, sure," Ryan rolled his eyes. He had always been good at handling hangovers, something to thank his Irish heritage for.

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Despite the fact that his entire day was taken up doing paperwork rather than solving any crimes, Ryan thought it passed quickly. Maybe he was just dreading the end of the work day, going home to an empty apartment. Esposito and Castle had taken it upon themselves to continuously try to amuse him; mostly in the form of Castle spinning some tale off a cold case while Esposito and Beckett undermined him with actual facts. It worked, it was a great distraction, he truly had the best co-workers. When the clock hit 5pm though, he felt his stomach drop a little.

"Want to grab a pizza?" Esposito asked, sidling over to Ryan's desk as he packed up his things for the day.

"Didn't you have a date with Lanie tonight?" Ryan asked, he wasn't looking for any pity and he certainly didn't want his friends uprooting their own plans just for him.

"Yeah, but we don't mind if you come along too," he countered. "I promise we won't be all over each other."

"Nah, it's ok bro, I'll be fine."

"Ok, call me any time though," Esposito replied, hesitating for a few minutes before leaving Ryan outside the building.

Usually, Ryan would take the subway down to the Columbia stop and walk home from there, but today, the idea of that many bodies pressed up against him for the evening commute made him cringe. So, he decided to meander a bit. He'd never walked all the way home, it was relatively far and completely impractical, but since he didn't really want to get home anyway, today seemed like the perfect day to try it.

In the end, it took about 2 hours. 2 hours of navigating the multitudes of sidewalks and alleys of NYC. 2 hours to remind himself of everything he was going to miss about Jenny (a very long list) and everything he wasn't (a significantly shorter list). 2 hours to wonder what the hell had actually happened between him and Alexis last night and if he could ever let something like that happen again. 2 hours to come up with the many ways that Castle could kill him if he ever got even the slightest whiff of an idea that Ryan could have done anything to his daughter… Needless to say, it was a long journey home and Ryan pretty much decided that it wasn't worth it. He wouldn't be walking home from work again any time soon.

He thought about stopping in at King Charlie's, but the last thing he needed was to wake up to another woman in his arms. Last night was bad enough, he wasn't going to let it become a habit. He'd passed his sleeping around days a long time ago. He needed to be better than that if he was ever going to get the family that he wanted.

He heaved a sigh as he flipped through his key ring at his door, finding the right key, letting himself in, closing and locking the door again behind him. The key that Jenny had left behind, the one he'd told Alexis to use, was gone from its place. For some reason, that made him feel better. It wasn't hanging there to be another glaring reminder that she didn't even want to be able to visit him; that there was nothing more that he or his apartment could offer her.

Then he saw the note, hanging on his refrigerator. The note he'd written to Alexis this morning was flipped over and she'd scribbled something on the back. It made him smile. Maybe all he really needed to get through this was these little bits of light from his friends. Maybe things really were going to be ok.

Text From: Det. Ryan

Thanks for the note :)

Text From: Castle Jr.

Any time! You're home late. Espo take you out?

Text From: Det. Ryan

He had a date. I walked.

Text From: Castle Jr.

YOU WALKED HOME? FROM THE PRECINCT?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Yep

Text From: Castle Jr.

You are insane. Nobody sane does that. You sick? Need a psych consult? Pills? Drugs? Soup?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Ha. Ha. I'm ok

Text From: Det. Ryan

Just tired

Text From: Castle Jr.

Ok. Sleep well. Don't do anything insane tomorrow.

Text From: Det. Ryan

Will try not to. Have a good night.

Ryan was very thankful at 4am on Friday morning that he had decided to forgo drinking the night before.

"Morning, Beckett," he groaned, blinking at his clock as he answered the phone.

"Morning, Ryan, we've got a case," Beckett's voice filtered through as she must have turned away from it briefly to yawn. "68 7th street NW, be there as soon as you can."

"Yup, see you there."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"The victim's name is Marcus Saunders, his prints are in the system from multiple run-ins with narcotics cops and various rehab centers," Kate Beckett filled Ryan and Esposito in as they walked to the alley where the body had been found. "Anything to tell us, Lanie?"

"Yeah, it's a pretty good bet he died from blunt force trauma to the back of his head. A blow that leaves a skull fracture that deep and this much blood on the ground is sure to have done a lot of other damage. Based on liver temp, he died at 1am this morning," Lanie replied, carefully lifting the corpse's head off the ground to inspect the fragments embedded in the fracture.

"Ouch," Esposito said, wincing.

"He familiar to you at all, Ry? From your time with Narcotics?" Beckett asked. Ryan squatted down to peer closer at the man's face. He'd only been with the Narcotics division for a few years, straight out of the police academy, but he'd gotten to know the main players on the streets pretty darn quickly.

"Nah, I don't recognize him," Ryan responded after a minute, then he turned to Lanie. "Think he was using or sober?"

"Can't tell yet, I'll need to get him back to the lab," she replied, putting his head back down. "No fresh needle marks though, so we'll likely have to wait for the tox screen."

"I'll call some of my friends with Narcotics," Ryan said, looking back at Beckett. "See if they recognize the face or the name."

"Sounds good. Espo, can you start tracking down any family? Job? Anyone who knows him?" Beckett asked. "Castle and I will go talk to the witness."

"Sure thing," Esposito sighed, grabbing Ryan's jacket and pulling him into his car to head back to the precinct.

Hours later, searches through both computers and outside contacts had turned up the information that Marcus Saunders was a janitor at a local catholic school, he had a brother in Queens, his parents lived in White Plains, and he'd been out of the Narcotics watchlist for over a year now. Esposito and Ryan spent most of the day following leads to trace his drug habits, most notably heavy opioid usage and some dealing when he needed the money. The Narcotics division at the 8th precinct had the most experience with him and agreed to gather their files on him to send over to the 12th the following day.

"Got anything?" Beckett asked, not two seconds after Esposito and Ryan walked into the bullpen.

"The 8th Narcotics squad is going to get their files together for us. Most people seem to think he's been clean for a while though," Ryan replied, dropping himself heavily onto his chair.

"Yeah, either that or he's gotten better at avoiding notice," Esposito supplied, leaning against Beckett's desk while she filled in the murder board. "Where's Castle?"

"Getting coffee."

"Good, we're going to need it," Esposito said. "I'm guessing there's a trip to White Plains in our future?"

"Unless you want to take the nuns and the brother?" Beckett offered with a smirk at Ryan.

"Nope, no to the nuns. We're going to White Plains," Ryan said quickly, suppressing a shudder at the idea of returning to a catholic school.

"Hey guys! I have got two piping hot black coffees, one mocha espresso with whipped cream, and one double espresso extra foam," Castle came bustling into the bullpen handing out coffees to each of his detectives. "Did I miss anything good?"

"Tox screen is negative, no drugs in his system at all," Lanie offered, also coming up to Beckett's desk. "Cause of death was blunt force trauma. Our killer used a weapon that has a rounded end, made of pine, likely a baseball bat or something similar. I found some pine fragments in the head wound. But whoever did it, they must have put a lot of muscle into it. It was only the one blow that killed him."

"Thanks, Lanie," Beckett responded with a smile. "Do you need some coffee?"

"No thank you," Lanie replied backing away with a flirtatious grin to Esposito. "I am going home to get in my nice comfy bed and sleeping until normal people wake up tomorrow morning."

"At 3:30 in the afternoon?" Castle threw at her while he gulped his double espresso. "Pah-thetic!"

"Uh-huh, you keep your pathetics to yourself, Castle. I'm going to be well rested," she smirked and with a quick kiss on the cheek to Esposito, she left the precinct.

"Man, I wish we could do that," Esposito sighed, watching her walk away.

"Mmhmm," Ryan murmured in response, flipping through their growing case file in search of Saunders' parents address. "You driving or me?"

"I'll drive," Esposito offered, with one last wistful glance at the direction Lanie had left, mostly wishing he could have gone home with her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Text From: Castle Jr.

Someone's pot smoking keeps setting off the fire alarm. You busy? Can you guys come arrest some people for me?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Wish we could. On a case now though. Headed to White Plains with Javi.

Text From: Castle Jr.

Damn.

Text From: Det. Ryan

Bad words again. When did you start swearing?

Text From: Castle Jr.

When all these idiots started keeping me from studying.

Text From: Det. Ryan

Do you still have my key?

Text From: Castle Jr.

Yeah, do you need it? Want to meet at KC's tonight?

Text From: Det. Ryan

No, that's not what I meant. Go study at my place. Case is going to keep us out late anyway.

Text From: Castle Jr.

Seriously?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Yeah. I trust you

Text From: Castle Jr.

Thank you so much. I owe you. Big time.

Text From: Det. Ryan

If you set fire to it or something, I'll just tell Castle that he was right and you hate Pi.

Text From: Castle Jr.

Deal.

"What are you smiling at?" Esposito glanced over at his partner in the passenger seat.

"Nothing, just my sister, one of my nephews said his first word today," Ryan replied, not entirely lying. His sister, Karen, had actually texted him about his nephew, Ben's, first word earlier in the day.

"And?"

"Poop."

Esposito chuckled at that.

"This is the sister with two boys, right? I'm guessing the older one taught the younger one that."

"Oh yeah, that's exactly what happened. If I had a brother, it's what I would have done."

The car descended into silence again, with just the white noise of the radio in the background. Ryan settled back into his seat and closed his eyes.

"You fall asleep now and you're the one driving home, bro."

"Sure thing, Javi," Ryan replied, they still had an hour or so of driving left. Plenty of time for a nap.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Text From: Castle Jr.

When are you going to be home?

Text From: Det. Ryan

An hour or so, I think, regrouping at precinct now.

Text From: Castle Jr.

OK. I'm hungry, going to get food. You want anything?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Not Chinese

Text From: Castle Jr.

Mac and cheese?

Text From: Det. Ryan

Sounds perfect

"Oi! Irish! I know your nephew's funny, but he's not that interesting," Esposito tapped his fingers on Ryan's desk to get his attention away from his phone.

"Yeah, sorry," he said, putting the phone away. "So, you guys got nothing from the vic's brother?"

"Nope, alibi checked out and his financials are clean as a whistle," Beckett sighed, sitting back on her desk in front of the board. "What did Saunders' parents say?"

"Not much, they hadn't heard from him in a couple years, figured he was back into drugs again. Weren't overly shocked to hear he was dead, they seem to have accepted the possibility after his first major relapse," Ryan filled her in.

"Yeah, they were shocked that the tox screen came back clean, but didn't seem to think it meant he'd been clean all along," Esposito added.

"A sober drug addict whose parents have already given him up for dead, brother was close to him, but didn't bother telling their parents that he'd been clean. Something's not adding up here," Beckett rubbed at her eyes and Castle squeezed her shoulder.

"Maybe the brother thought the same thing as their parents; Saunders would just have another relapse and he didn't want to get their hopes up?" Castle offered.

"Yeah, maybe," Beckett sighed. "But that's not a motive for killing him."

"Any leads with the nuns?" Ryan asked.

"Nothing, everyone we've talked to says he's been clean for over 3 years. Always showed up to work on time, got the job done. They were sorry to have to find a new janitor," Castle sounded bored as he relayed the information, clearly wishing the nuns had been up to some sort of secrecy with the victim.

"We're still waiting on all the reports connected to him to be sent to us from the 8th precinct now. They should be here in the morning and we can look them over then," Beckett said. "I guess we should call it a night for now? Regroup first thing tomorrow and we'll go over all the old case files."

"Sounds good," Esposito replied, grabbing his coat from his chair and nodding to the rest of them on his way out.

"Yeah, we'll get the guy tomorrow, Beckett," Ryan said, offering both Castle and Beckett a smile as he took his own things away. "Have a good night."

"Night Ryan!" Castle waved him away as he started to slowly pull Beckett away from the murder board.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Hey," the soft voice came from the direction of his kitchen as Ryan walked in to his apartment, nearly giving him a heart attack until he remembered that Alexis was probably still studying.

"Hey yourself," he said, dropping his keys and work bag on the counter, then immediately kicking off his shoes and hanging his coat in the front closet. "So, mac and cheese?"

"There's a bowl ready to go in the microwave in the fridge," she said, pointing with her pen before going back to the textbook she was poring over.

"Thanks," Ryan took the bowl out, loosened the cover, and started it in the microwave. "How goes the studying?"

"I've gotten more done in the past 3 hours than I have in the past 3 days," she replied, turning her clear green-blue eyes to him. "I really thought I was handling work and classes and the shitty apartment building fine, but studying in the library with people interrupting you every 10 minutes is so much different than being in a place of mostly silence. I've honestly taken up your entire counter space, this is less than half the mess that it was."

Ryan replied, taking a long drink from a glass of milk. "I'm glad it was good studying though. Happy to be of some help."

"This was amazing, thank you again," Alexis replied, eyes bright and a smirk playing on her lips. "Your neighbor with the dog is super weird, by the way."

"Yeah, I know, Jenny and I were thinking about getting a dog, but then we realized it would mean running into Miss Purple significantly more often," Ryan replied, chuckling to himself as he remembered that conversation.

"Is Miss Purple really her name?"

"Close enough, it's Miss Purpinci, and yes, she always dresses that poor dog in something purple," Kevin laughed at Alexis's expression, both in disbelief of his neighbor's name as well as also probably remembering what costume the poor little pug had been forced into.

"Weird," Alexis sighed, shaking her head and starting to pack her things away.

"When are your exams?"

"They're spread out between next week and the week after. I'm almost ready for one, but not even close to ready for the other three."

"You can stay as late as you want," Ryan said, as the microwave dinged and he pulled out his food. "I'm just going to eat, then crash. We're regrouping early tomorrow, so I won't even be here long. Guest room is obviously still open."

Alexis stopped her packing and sat back down on her stool as Ryan grabbed a fork to try the macaroni, mixed with veggies, covered with a very generous portion of her dad's special yogurt and cheese sauce.

"Oh, this is delicious," he practically moaned into the bowl as he started shoveling pasta into his mouth.

"Thanks," Alexis grinned. "My dad taught me most of his secrets. And you had all the ingredients here, so I didn't even need to go out. I can replenish them though, so don't worry about that!"

"Alexis," Ryan swallowed around a particularly large mouthful and met her eyes. "It's fine, don't worry about it. I probably wouldn't have had time to cook up half this stuff anyway before it goes bad."

"Ok," Alexis breathed for a minute, she really just didn't want to start overstepping boundaries; this was still a new side to their friendship and she had enjoyed studying here, much more so than any of the other nooks she'd managed to locate on campus. "Is it really ok if I stay tonight?"

"Yes," Ryan was back to focusing on his meal. "I wouldn't have offered if it wasn't."

"Thanks."

Ryan just hummed in response as he scraped the bowl for the last of the macaroni before putting it to soak in the sink.

"I'm going to bed," Ryan said, reaching over and tweaking her ear so she would look up from her notes. "Don't study too hard."

"Yeah, yeah," she mock-glared at him. "Sleep well, Kevin."

"You too, Alexis."


	3. Chapter 3

Alexis honestly could not believe her luck. First, that she'd managed to convince Mandy to switch work shifts with her at the dining hall. And second, that she now had the time and a place to study. A wonderful, beautiful, amazingly silent place to study. She'd never been more grateful for her tidy and relatively quiet upbringing before she'd experienced the past couple months living in the exact opposite conditions.

She had been taking full advantage of Ryan's offer to use his apartment to study for practically two whole weeks, whenever she had a chunk of an hour or two. Sometimes, that time would be between classes, so she wouldn't even see Ryan. And other times, she'd be set up at the counter in the kitchen when he'd wander in at 9pm, looking entirely dead on his feet, practically falling into the fridge to eat the leftovers of whatever she'd cooked up for herself earlier in the evening. But today she had an entire day to spend studying her absolute worst subject!

She was a good third of the way through the first practice exam when her phone buzzed with a text.

Text From: Det. Ryan

You at my place?

Text From: Castle Jr.

Yeah

Text From: Det. Ryan

Be there in 10. Fair warning, covered in blood.

Text From: Det. Ryan

Not any of ours. Javi punched scumbag in the face. Nose blood.

Text From: Castle Jr.

Gross, I'll leave a path clear straight to the shower

"That's from a nose bleed!" Alexis exclaimed as Ryan came in the front door. The lower part of his shirt and blue patterned tie were covered in a dark red spray of blood.

"Yeah, Javi got him good, then Beckett got him to his knees and, since I was the one holding him..." Ryan trailed off, gesturing at his front. "So, showering, changing, and heading back out."

"This is still that drug dealer case?" Alexis asked, cringing.

"Yeah, this guy is one of his ex-suppliers, took us days to track him down, even with a contact name," Ryan replied, carefully unbuttoning his shirt. "Can you get me a trash bag from under the sink?"

"Sure," Alexis got up and searched the cabinet for the trash bags. Once locating them, she grabbed one and brought it over to Ryan, who was now shirtless and inspecting the damage to his jacket and jeans. "Doesn't look good."

"I can salvage the jacket, but shirt, tie, and undershirt are going to have to go," Ryan sighed as Alexis held the trash bag open for him. "This job does not pay enough to replenish my wardrobe."

"You do have a fantastic wardrobe," Alexis offered him a smile, trying not to pay attention to his surprisingly well-sculpted chest.

"Most days, I try," he responded, not entirely paying attention to the conversation as he took off his shoes and unzipped his jeans on the way to the bathroom.

Alexis tied off the trash bag of bloodied clothes and set it beside the main door of the apartment, then washed her hands. Could never be too careful when there was a stranger's blood around. Then she had a mini-chat with herself as she sat back down to her practice exam. Detective Kevin Ryan was a very good friend and that was all he would ever be. She was starting to know him well enough now to understand that his brain and his body weren't always operating in the same frame of reality. Changing from work clothes into sweatpants or shorts and a t-shirt was one of the first things he did whenever he got home; and he had a tendency to start changing mid-conversation with her before realizing that he was standing in front of her with just his boxers and socks on. Then he would turn bright red, curse, and stumble back to his room to make himself a little more decent to be in her presence again. After the second time this happened, it became one of Alexis's favorite occurrences. It was reminiscent of a child becoming angry about wearing clothes, ripping them off in a tantrum, and then just submitting to its parent re-clothing it. Unfortunately, this behavior did have the unintended side effect of her seeing his lithely muscled, well-proportioned body more than she should really ever see any friend of her father's.

Regardless of how hot she did or didn't find him, nothing would ever happen between them. They were friends. That was it. And that was the key point of all of these internal conversations she had with herself about Detective Kevin Ryan.

She refocused her attention on the magnetic repulsive field of a negatively charged grounded rod and spent the next several minutes utterly absorbed in trying to actually understand what the question was asking.

"Don't burn a hole in the paper," Alexis started slightly at Ryan's voice coming form just over her shoulder, but recovered quickly.

"How much do you know about magnetic repulsion?" She asked, sighing and running her fingers through her hair to tug on the ends.

"Not a damn thing," he replied cheerfully, leaning over the floor to towel dry his hair. "There's a reason I never went to college."

"You never went to college?" Alexis turned from her problem to look at him. She hadn't known that; she'd naively thought that was what criminal justice majors were for, people who wanted to be cops. These days every job required a degree of some sort.

"Nah, I thought about it, but my parents didn't have that kind of money, so I went straight to the police academy after I left the nuns. I've taken a couple courses here and there to qualify for becoming a detective. Beckett's the one with the degree though, Javi and I are just her minions," Although Ryan's voice was muffled by the towel, he didn't sound upset at all with his place in the world, so Alexis just nodded.

"Huh, so you always wanted to be a cop then?" She asked. He looked up at her, dropping the hand holding his towel to his side. His hair, rather than being set into its usual cowlick, was curling at the ends, falling gently against his forehead, making his already baby-face look even younger. He could easily fit in around campus, looking like that.

"I had a cousin who was a cop, it looked better than the alternative," he said, picking up his gun and badge from where he'd left them on the counter and fixing them to the belt on the clean pair of dark jeans.

"What was the alternative?" Alexis asked, very willingly pushing her studying away from her to focus on learning more about Kevin Ryan and his life.

Ryan chuckled at her and grabbed her practice exam off the counter to wave in her face. "Enough prying for distractions! You have very important classes to pass!"

She gave him an evil glare as she snatched her exam back and he disappeared back into his bedroom. Alexis pulled the physics text back to her and scanned the index to find the chapter on magnetic repulsion again.

When Ryan re-emerged from his room, he was fixing a new blue tie onto his clean shirt. His hair had been gelled back into place, and he looked ready to make his way back into the cop world. He grabbed an apple from the bag on the counter and his keys.

"What do you want for dinner?" Alexis asked as he opened the door to leave.

"You're staying here that late?"

"I got someone to switch shifts with me, since clearly about I'm about to fail physics."

"Umm, whatever you can make out of the stuff here is fine. I have to get groceries soon anyway," Ryan replied, frowning as he took a mental inventory of the last time that he'd looked in his cabinets.

"Ok," she said, turning back to her textbook. "Don't get bled on by anymore crazy drug dealers."

"I'll try my best," he called back, letting the door fall shut behind him.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

By the time Ryan got home from the precinct that night, Alexis had changed her study area from the kitchen to the couch. She was set up with Khan Academy Physics on the smart tv, her textbook resting on the arm of the couch, and her notebook splayed open on her lap as she tried to understand the corrections that needed to be made on her answers from the practice exams she'd done earlier.

Ryan stumbled into the apartment, stripping off his clothes while wandering down the hall to his bedroom. When he reappeared in the living room, he was wearing sweatpants and a t shirt and he let himself fall onto the opposite end of the couch. His legs hung over the other armrest and his head landed just below her open notebook.

"Hi Kevin," Alexis deadpanned, pausing the video explaining ground charges.

"Hey, Alexis," he mumbled, closing his eyes. "What are we watching?"

"Physics," she said, unable to keep the goofy grin off her face at his complete lack of sense of propriety. Another thing she'd noticed over the past couple of weeks was how quickly that sense of personal space disappeared when he was tired. She closed her notebook and set it on top of the physics text. Ryan seemed to take that as an invitation to get more comfortable, so he shifted around to grab a pillow to put on her lap so that he could put his head on top of it, giving his legs enough space to curl onto the couch. "Comfortable?"

"Hmmmm," he sighed, snuggling himself further into the pillow, her lap, and the couch. As his breathing started to get deeper, she sighed; it looked like she wasn't getting up any time soon.

"Are you going to stay still there for a while?" She asked, nudging him gently.

"Prob'ly," he mumbled again.

"Ok," she said, bringing her notebook back in front of her and resting it on his head. He shifted his position ever so slightly, but she assumed it was to take the pressure of her writing off of his ear. As soon as he stopped moving, she started the video up again. It was only a few minutes later that underneath the instructive voice of Khan Academy, she heard the soft snores of Kevin Ryan.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Text From: Kevin

How did you get into my phone?

Text From: BFF Alexis 3 3 3

Physics was not enough to hold my attention. And your phone was right there. Plus, your passcode is 1234. You should change that if you don't want people messing with it.

Text From: Kevin

You changed Castle's name to MainManCrush

Text From: BFF Alexis 3 3 3

I've seen your collection. It seemed to fit.

Text From: Kevin

And Javi's to ESPO-STEAKS

Text From: BFF Alexis 3 3 3

I was hungry. And very tired. It made sense to me at the time.

Text From: Kevin

Was going to be nice and ask how exam went. Now I have to fix all the contact numbers you changed.

Text From: BFF Alexis 3 3 3

I just made your contacts list look like something straight out of a tween version of Gossip Girl

Text From: Kevin

I know. I got a call this morning from #1 Frenemy K. Becks

Text From: BFF Alexi

You know you love it

Text From: Kevin

You need to stop binge-watching Gossip Girl

Text From: BFF Alexis 3 3 3

Never! Now that exams are done, what else am I going to do?

Text From: Kevin

Watch something cool. Like Stranger Things

Text From: BFF Alexis 3 3 3

You're such a dork

Text From: BFF Alexis 3 3 3

Plus, I already finished the new season last month

Text From: Kevin

No spoilers! I'm only two episodes in. Haven't had time.

Text From: BFF Alexis 3 3 3

Pathetic. I think you need more caffeine

Text From: Kevin

Who is Butter Scotch?

Text From: Kevin

WHY DID YOU CHANGE MONGOMERY'S NAME TO BUTTER SCOTCH?!

Text From: BFF Alexis 3 3 3

Random stroke of inspiration

Text From: Kevin

I'm done talking to you now. No more. Must make some calls.

Text From: BFF Alexi

Have fun!

Ryan scowled at his phone screen trying to make sense of what Alexis had changed. Thankfully the most embarrassing names were people that she knew from the precinct or else they were fairly translatable, like Queen K for his sister Karen and Pops for his dad's number.

As he scrolled through his contacts, fixing the names, he realized he didn't regret falling asleep on his couch with her one bit. Despite the trouble. He'd missed having someone sleep next to him. He'd only slept there for a few hours, then he'd left and covered her with a blanket like any good gentleman with his best friend's daughter, and finished the night alone in his own bed. But it was nice. Much like her companionship whenever she was around his place. Studying or sneaking food into his fridge. Damn those Castles were good cooks.

But he really did need to sort out some of his own shit. Or at least start dating again. A 32 year old man letting a 21 year old girl hang out at his apartment because he was lonely sounded suspicious. At the very least, it should be raising eyebrows from someone on his side of the law. He couldn't even imagine what Castle would do or say if he'd found out that Ryan spent hours last night with his head in his daughter's lap. That would be uncomfortable. Ryan pressed his lips together and put his phone away. Feigning ignorance is bliss. Isn't that how the saying goes?

"Yo, Ryan," Esposito came out of the interrogation room to meet Ryan at his desk. "You want to work with this guy's statement? His whereabouts from 11pm-2am are still shady. Beckett thinks she can break him if we've got something more solid to hit him with."

"Where's a Castle story when you need it?" Ryan asked.

"Right? He's trying to come up with something too, but some facts would make it better."

"Yeah, I'll take a look," Ryan responded, pulling out the 8th precinct's file on the drug dealer again. "Hey, man, speaking of Castle. Would it be weird if I told you that I'm kind of friends with Alexis now?"

Esposito raised his eyebrows at his partner, taking the chair beside him. "It depends. What kind of friends? How did it happen? How long? Was that the final straw to Jenny leaving?"

"No, Javi, geez relax!" Ryan quickly back-tracked, hushing Esposito's questions and lowering his voice to avoid getting Beckett and Castle's attention. "She lives a couple blocks away from me now. You know, the Old Mill area by Columbia? We ran into each other one night after Jenny moved out. I wasn't in great shape and she helped me out."

"Oh, that's it," Esposito let out a breath of relief. "Way to scare a guy. I thought you were gonna say you were having an affair with her or something."

"Ah, no, trying to avoid that," Ryan replied, though his cheeks rose ever so slightly in color. Esposito's accusing eyes widened again as he registered the blush and Ryan grabbed his arm to keep him from freaking out. Ryan continued explaining to his partner in hushed tones. "Nothing has happened! I let her use my place to study because she hates where she's living now and her boyfriend doesn't giver her any space. It's just weird that I've gotten so comfortable around her, right?"

"A little strange," Esposito replied slowly. "But not unthinkable. She and Castle are kind of in a fight, right? So it makes sense she's reaching out a little more. And you're vulnerable right now because of Jenny and we know she's a sweetheart who likes to make people feel better. So… Yeah, ok, I don't think it's as concerning as you're making it out to be."

Esposito subtly started nodding to himself as he spoke. These little things did make sense. Alexis was a great girl and if her presence was helping to keep Ryan sane, then yeah, he was ok with this.

"Thanks, bro," Ryan let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding since that first (and only) morning he'd woken up with a hangover and Alexis in his bed.

"Just keep it all rated PG though bro, I know she looks all grown up now," Esposito sent his partner a glare that was half playful and half a warning. Ryan rolled his eyes and shoved Esposito's shoulder in response before turning back to the paperwork on his desk, ready to help this case finally be over.


	4. Chapter 4

With exams done, Alexis debated her options. She had one final revision of a lab report for her science writing class left to do and most of her friends were finishing their exams later in the day. She could go back to her apartment and pack, get ready to spend the week of Christmas in an uneasy truce between herself, her father, Gran, Kate, and Pi, or she could go to Ryan's apartment, finish her lab report, make some brownies (she had been craving a brownie sundae all week), and annoy him if he happened home at some point during the day. She grinned, she loved having options.

She stopped by the mini-mart on campus to pick up some vanilla ice cream, a bag of flour, and some baking chocolate. Ryan had a remarkably well-stocked kitchen. Whether this was leftover from Jenny or if it was Ryan himself who did cooking and baking when he had the time was something she had not yet asked, but regardless of the answer, she was grateful for it.

Alexis let herself in, as she usually did, took off her shoes, and dropped her things on the counter. When she went to hang up her key though, she noticed there was one hanging from the hook already. She frowned at it briefly before going to investigate. It was 10am on a Thursday morning. As she got closer to his bedroom, she heard muffled snores, so she nudged the already ajar door slightly further open with her shoulder. Sure enough, there was a large mass bundled under at least three layers of blankets. With the window next to the bed wide open. She rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she left him snoring away. She would just have to make fun of him later for leaving the window open at the end of December.

She settled in back at the counter with her laptop open, lab report on one tab, brownie recipe on another and she got to work.

"Good morning, sunshine," Alexis greeted a while later as Ryan appeared rumpled, face red and hair ruffled from sleep, in the kitchen.

"Morning," he replied, making his way to fill and start his coffee pot.

"Why are you home today?" She asked, curious if he was sick or she could expect Esposito to barge in at any second, looking for him.

"Beckett gave us the day off. We've got a suspect in custody; he's signed a confession and now it's all paperwork. Which can wait until tomorrow," Ryan mumbled as he let his head fall into his hands while his elbows rested on the counter top. Then he frowned and lifted his head up again, sniffing in the direction of the oven. "Why does it smell like brownies?"

"I always want brownies after test taking," Alexis replied. "I got some ice cream to go with them in the freezer."

"Ah," he nodded as if this was completely reasonable and then filled a mug with fresh coffee. Alexis watched as he reached up into one of his higher cabinets to grab something and add a generous helping to the coffee.

"Bailey's?" She asked, sounding surprised as she read the label on the bottle.

" 'M Irish," he responded, shrugging as if that was an entire explanation. "You want one?"

"It's 11 o'clock in the morning! And I have to go to work in a couple hours!" She said, snickering as he took a large gulp despite the steam rising out of the mug.

"I'm sure swiping cards at the dining hall is significantly more fun if you're a little buzzed," he offered, already sounding more awake than he had been when he first walked in.

"Thanks, but I'm good," Alexis just laughed again as he added more Bailey's to replace the amount of coffee he'd already swallowed. After mixing the new addition in, he put the bottle back in its place.

He meandered out of the kitchen, mug in hand, and she heard the tv start up, some mid-day talk show, the volume turned down, and then the sound of channel-flipping. Alexis turned back to correcting her lab report's reference and graphic sections, content to work with the low hum of white noise from the tv in the background.

When the oven timer went off for the brownies, Ryan appeared back in the kitchen to take them out, letting Alexis stay at her laptop for a few more crucial minutes. He placed them on the stovetop, checked that they were done, and then turned off the oven. He refilled his mug with more coffee and Bailey's, then made his way back out to the tv.

After several more minutes, Alexis hit save on the document, closed her laptop, stretched, and leaned back on her stool. She grabbed a couple of bowls out of the cabinet, placed a still warm brownie in each, then topped both with a liberal portion of ice cream.

"Done?" Ryan asked as Alexis handed him a bowl, settling beside him on the couch with her own.

"It's as good as it's going to get, at this point," she sighed, dipping her spoon into the brownie sundae. "What are we watching?"

"The Grand Tour," Ryan replied, sighing contentedly with his extremely non-nutritious breakfast.

"It looks like it's just British guys racing cars around," Alexis said, squinting at the tv, as though that would make a difference in what she was interpreting.

"Pretty much that's what the show is," Ryan chuckled. "This is the Christmas special from last year, I think, so it's a kind of best-moments compilation."

"Huh, interesting," Alexis said, in a way that meant she wasn't actually interested. Until one of the guys ran his car into a river and the ensuing chaos had Alexis joining right in with Ryan's laughter.

"What are you're plans for Christmas?" Alexis asked as a commercial started up.

"It's Gwen's turn to host this year, so going to Staten Island for a few days," he replied. "What about you?"

"Well, it will be me, Dad, Gram, Kate, and Pi, so you know, a nice cozy little family gathering," Alexis sighed. "Want to swap?"

"No way," he snorted. "You really need to just talk it out with Castle though, all jokes aside. He wants you to be happy and this fight is only making you both even more miserable."

"Yeah, I know," Alexis sighed. "But it's only one year of my life. I can push through it. I don't want to just expect that I can always fall back on my dad. He and Kate are probably going to get married and have kids of their own. I don't want to be that lame older half-sister who never got her shit together and still relies on Daddy's money."

"You're not that kid. Trust me. And if any siblings do come along, take my word as the baby of my family, all they will ever do is look up to you," Ryan responded, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, spoon still in hand, and squeezing her into his chest. "You took a step, and it may have been a wrong one, but there will always be more significant steps to take."

Alexis huffed out a sigh and leaned into his shoulder. She knew he was right. She knew Kate was right, that all her dad wanted was for them to be best friends again. She let her hand holding the brownie bowl drop slightly to rest on her lap and felt Ryan's arm constrict around her.

"Hey!" she shouted, trying to squirm out from his grip as his spoon dove into her remaining unguarded brownie sundae.

"Delishush," he mumbled around his stolen mouthful. He gave her a goofy grin, ice cream dripping from one side of his mouth. He looked completely deranged and she cracked up laughing, relenting and switching out her last remaining bites of brownie for his empty bowl before returning to the kitchen to pack up her things.

"I am off to my last dining hall shift of the semester!" Alexis announced, stopping back in the living room before she left. "Please eat something healthy at some point today."

"No guarantees," Ryan just grinned at her over the back of the couch and waved her away.

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With all said and done, Alexis decided that her traditional family Christmas Eve could have been worse. In fact, they'd had much worse Christmas Eve's, most notably the ones that her mother happened to be in town for. Pi was allowed to stay in Alexis's room with her and, in return, Alexis formally forgave her father for being so unwilling to accept their decision to move in together. It was a step in the right direction. But still, it was hitting too close to home for Alexis to want to come straight out and tell him that he had been right. So, they lived with their truce and Alexis just tried to focus on all the things that had made her fall in love with Pi in the first place.

Their dinner was a calm and quiet affair, mostly talk about events at the precinct (every time Ryan's name came up, Alexis couldn't help but feel her heart leap slightly) and her commenting about how her semester went along with her med school applications for after graduation.

As she helped Martha clear the table, she couldn't help thinking of someone else, who was on Staten Island and probably had to break the news to his family tonight that he would not be getting married next year.

"Hey, Gran?" Alexis asked, putting the last of the pots onto the drying rack while Martha started the dishwasher.

"Yes, darling?" Martha replied, looking over at her granddaughter.

"Can you make sure Pi stays occupied down here for a bit?" She requested, cringing internally. She and Ryan had never told any of their mutual acquaintances that they were much closer friends than anyone knew. It just seemed like a recipe for disaster, so she'd gotten used to just referring to him as a friend, sometimes in the category with her girl friends Paige and Taylor. "I have to make a call."

"Of course, kiddo," Martha smiled, glancing at where Pi, Kate, and Castle were sitting, trying to carry on a conversation about city smog affecting bees' migratory patterns. "Everything all right?"

"Yeah, just a friend having a rough time," Alexis smiled and kissed her grandmother on the cheek. "Thanks, Gran."

Alexis slipped quietly away, grabbing her cell phone from the counter and heading up the stairs to her room.

"Alexis?" the voice that picked up on the other end of the line was slightly rougher than she was used to hearing it, but still a welcome one all the same.

"Hey Kevin," she said, keeping her voice soft. "Just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too," he replied. She heard the sound of a door closing in the background.

"Where are you?"

"Backyard, it appears I've been dealt babysitting duties of Max tonight," Ryan sighed in exasperation. "He's had about three slices of cake and insists that there is a creature in the garden he's destined to catch. Keeps jimmying the lock on the door to get out."

"He's been watching Pokemon?" Alexis guessed, sniggering at the thought of a 7 year old giving Ryan so much trouble.

"Yeah, or some new show similar enough to it. There are half as many children here as adults, but somehow, the little bastards are winning."

"Sounds terrible," Alexis's voice warmed sympathetically.

"The kids really aren't all that bad," Ryan responded, then shouted something away from the phone that sounded suspiciously like 'Max, put that hose down!' before his voice returned to her. "Gwen decided to wait until tonight to break the news that she is expecting a baby boy on June 16th. She no longer felt guilty about it being due the day that was supposed to be my wedding."

"Ooh, that's a low blow," Alexis winced in sympathy.

"No kidding," he grumbled. "I swear it was even in the same sentence. 'So sorry to hear about Jenny, but now I can tell you about baby number 3!' And cue oohs and awws from every other person at the table."

"How did you parents take it?" Alexis asked after a few seconds of listening to the crickets chirping in the background.

"About what I expected, my mother crying that I'll never be happy in life and my father saying that Jenny was too good for me anyway. And of course, everyone asking if I have any new prospects, offering me blind dates with good Irish Catholic girls from my mother's church. As if I'm not 32 years old and capable of finding a date on my own."

Alexis could practically hear the eye roll through the phone. In her mind's eye, she could see him as if they were in his apartment. He would be laying on the couch, feet hanging off the edge of the armrest, heels tapping restlessly against the side, arms folded behind his head, a resigned but somehow still disappointed look on his face. As it was, he was probably leaning against the side of his sister's house, keeping his eyes peeled for whatever trouble his nephew was getting into, but the same resigned and disappointed look in his eyes.

"Don't worry about them, in two days you can go right back to ignoring them. And you have absolutely zero obligation to date anyone they throw at you. Unless, of course, you really want to," Alexis replied, trying to be soothing, but also joking a little to lighten the mood.

"I know and no, I do not need to date someone from my mother's church. In no way is that even an inkling of a good idea."

"That sounds like it would be a family fall-out just waiting to happen."

"Yeah. Hang on a sec, I can hear Karen yelling, best get Max inside," Ryan said, sounding far away again for a minute. 'Max! Buddy! PJ time, little man. You can catch your Pokemon tomorrow' 'But Uncle Kev! What if he's not there tomowow? He could gwow up and fwy away!' 'I promise I will help you search tomorrow, but even you can't catch Pokemon if you're tired. C'mon, Mommy's calling.' 'Kevin! Is Max still out there with you?' 'Yeah, we're coming in now, keep your shirt on.' 'This is why you can't keep a woman, Kev, sarcasm does not become you.' 'Yeah, that's the reason.' 'Who are you talking to?' 'A friend.' 'A female friend?' 'No. Put your kid to bed, he's gotten way too close to figuring out how to turn the hose on for my comfort.' 'Mmhmm, Max! Bed time! Now! You coming in soon, baby brother?' 'Yeah, in a bit.' "Sorry about that, I'm back."

"Drama, drama, drama."

"Indeed," Ryan yawned through the phone before turning more contemplative. "I know you're still young and all, but have you ever thought about having kids?"

"Yeah, from time to time," Alexis said, thinking back to her childhood ideals of family and how they'd changed as she'd gotten older. "I think I'd want to have 2 kids. I was always lonely growing up as an only child. At the same time though, I can't even imagine how difficult it would be to keep track of three."

Ryan's response was a chuckle. "I'm assuming you heard part of that conversation with Karen? Even just having those two boys gives her a run for her money most days."

"How many do you want to have?" Alexis asked, he'd mentioned before how he wanted to start a family.

"I hadn't given that part too much thought, actually, just waiting to see what happened. In general, I always figured more than 1, but less than 5."

"Ah, very reasonable," Alexis agreed.

"Mm," Ryan hummed noncommittally. "Aren't you going to be missed from your cozy gathering?"

"I asked Gran to keep an eye on Pi for me," Alexis replied. "I wanted to check in with you. With all those pictures of your ever-growing family, I figured breaking the news about Jenny would be rough."

"Thanks," Ryan replied, sounding both surprised and touched.

"I'm glad it seems manageable though, just fend off those set-ups and you'll have a lovely holiday," Alexis offered cheerfully.

"Yup, that about sums it up," Ryan laughed softly. "I'm going to head back in. Have a good night, Alexis. And Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Kevin," Alexis replied, an easy smile on her face as they hung up.

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Christmas morning was wonderfully full of pancakes, coffee, laughter, hugs, and gifts. Alexis got several new books, jewelry, and a boxed set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer before they got down to the last couple of gifts in the huge pile under the tree. For the past several years, she'd always gotten one gift from Kate and one gift that was given by both Ryan and Esposito. This year, Kate rummaged through her bag to pull out two boxes. One from Esposito and one from Ryan separately.

"Ryan just said he had something special for you this year," Kate answered both Castle and Alexis's questioning looks.

"Cool, thanks!" she said, happily accepting the boxes and trying not to draw too much attention to the idea of a special gift from Ryan. She opened the one from Esposito first, it contained a new case for her laptop with anatomy and physiology diagrams on it. She grinned, if she was going to be starting med school after Columbia, this would definitely come in handy. A small note was attached saying a quick Merry Christmas! Love from Lanie and Javier.

The present from Ryan contained a simple jewelry box, the outer velvet had a drawing of a tree with only "Crann Beatha" written in flowing script beneath it. She carefully unhooked the latch to peer inside and her breath froze. It was the most beautiful pendant she'd ever seen. The design was a simple, traditional Celtic Tree of Life, set in slightly tarnished silver, but what made her breath catch was the tiny glimmers of aquamarine nestled between the leaves of the tree in the pendant. As she gently lifted the necklace out of the box, she noticed the handwritten note laying beneath it.

_Go n-ardóidh an bóthar chun bualadh leat._

_Go mbeadh an ghaoth ar do dhroim i gcónaí._

_Go n-éireoidh an ghrian le te ar d'aghaidh;_

_titeann an bháisteach bog ar do pháirceanna_

_agus go dtí go mbuailimid le chéile arís,_

_an féidir le Dia tú a choinneáil i dtearmann a láimhe._

_May the road rise up to meet you._

_May the wind be always at your back._

_May the sun shine warm upon your face;_

_the rains fall soft upon your fields_

_and until we meet again,_

_may God hold you in the palm of His hand._

_A blessing courtesy of my grandmother, wished upon us every year since before I can remember. She sent us a box of her mother's jewels from Ireland. The gems in the tree reminded me of your eyes. All I did was get it cleaned, buy a new case, write a note, and now I give this necklace to a new home where it will be cherished. _

_Be well, Alexis. Merry Christmas_

_Kevin_

"Alexis?" Castle asked, concerned as he watched his daughter's eyes fill with tears when she pulled a necklace and a note out of the box from Detective Ryan. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," she said. "It was his great-grandmother's."

"It's beautiful," Pi said, his eyes smiling for her. She smiled back at him, happy that he could be happy for her.

"It's amazing," Kate murmured when Alexis handed it over for her step-mother-to-be to inspect.

"Is there something going on that I should be worried about?" Castle asked her, suspiciously teasing, as he also scrutinized the perfectly set pendant.

"Of course not," Alexis rolled her eyes and laughed, putting the note back in the case. "Ryan and I are friends. I can't imagine what he'd be trying to buy me off for."

"Still," Martha murmured, letting the pendant rotate from the end of its chain when she got a hold of it, the light from the sun catching the glimmer of the gems at just the right points as it spun. "This is exquisite."

"At least I'll know who took it, if it goes missing," Alexis said, meeting her grandmother's eyes with a teasing smirk as she snatched her necklace back. When she set it back in the box, she couldn't help thinking that maybe it was at this same exact time on Staten Island Ryan might be opening his gift from her.

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Kevin Ryan wasn't even lying to himself as he contentedly watched his nieces and nephews playing with their multitudes of new toys. He was happy. This was his family and he was absurdly grateful to be spending this holiday with them. As each of his sisters was presented with jewelry from their great-grandmother's box, he was also extraordinarily happy that his mother had let him take his pick from them first. As the baby of the family, it wasn't often that he was allowed to have the first pick of anything. But the box had arrived two weeks ago, before his parents knew that Jenny had moved out. So, he assumed that she'd called him over to pick out something special for his bride to be. He'd looked into that nest of silver rings, Celtic knots, and heavy earrings, but all he'd seen was that glimmering hint of aquamarine amongst all the silver and all he could think of was Alexis's clear, bright, smiling blue-green eyes. So, he'd taken the pendant. Everything else would be passed around among his sisters and possibly his future wife, if he ever did manage to find another potential bride, but that one particular necklace was only meant for one person to wear it.

"Kevin," Gwen came back out into the living room, another gift in her hands. "This one is for you."

"I thought the box from máthair mhór was going to be the end of gift-giving," Ryan said, slightly questioning as he accepted the box.

"Yeah, but I forgot about this. It came in the mail a couple days ago, it's not from us," Gwen explained, sitting back down at the coffee table with Karen and Stacey.

"Who is it from?" Ryan asked, now suspicious.

"No idea," Gwen replied, quickly losing interest in it. "Frank checked, there's no bomb in it or anything."

"I promise, brother, didn't get anything dangerous off the scanners at work," Frank assured him, laughingly.

Ryan sighed, knowing he wasn't going to win an argument about keeping a strange package with no return label, but he picked up the scissors to open it anyway. At least Frank had even bothered to scan it for anything potentially dangerous. The first thing he saw when he opened the box was the note, and he was immediately reassured that opening the rest of the box would be fine.

_Kevin,_

_Merry Christmas! Just a little something to help replenish your wardrobe and maybe get you up to date on a few less geeky pop-culture references. I found Gwen's address from your contacts list when I reprogrammed your phone. I hope you're still planning on coming to Dad's New Year's Eve party!_

_Much love,_ _Alexis_

Once again, her note was simple, but it made him smile. He'd started to realize that her notes were much more straightforward than the tangents she could get off on when she talked. Maybe she had the time to edit and had actually gone through several note drafts before settling on the brief ones. That idea certainly fit with his impression of her perfectionism.

He reached into the box to find a new tie, the same fabric and colors as the one he'd had to throw out with a drug dealer's nose blood on it, though the pattern was slightly different. She had also fit a much smaller box inside, containing a new classic silver tie clip with a little green shamrock engraved into one corner. The last gift at the bottom of the box was the one that made him lose his composure though. His family stopped their conversations to stare at him as he pulled out _The Ultimate Fan Girl's Guidebook to All Things Gossip Girl_.

Text From: Kevin

Thank you for the gifts, you didn't have to

Text From: Alexis

I can't even form words. I absolutely love the pendant. And the poem. Both breathtaking

Text From: Kevin

I'm glad :)

Text From: Alexis

My gifts were so stupid compared to this. I'll make it up to you. When's your birthday?

Text From: Kevin

Please don't! I love them

Text From: Alexis

Are you sure? I'm sure I can make away with some of Gran's jewelry tonight.

Text From: Kevin

You're hilarious. And yes, I'm sure. Gifts are by definition given freely, no expectation of return and certainly no appraisal value attributed to them

Text From: Alexis

Well, my offer still stands, just let me know if you see something you like.

Text From: Kevin

Will do

Text From: Alexis

Enjoy the rest of your day!

Text From: Kevin

You too!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: A very short chapter, but it just didn't quite fit with the previous one or the next one and I really couldn't leave it out and didn't want to force it to stretch beyond what it is... So, with a huge thank you to my lovely reviewers, here is Chapter 5! New Year's Eve! :D

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Alexis had never been more looking forward to her father's New Year's Eve party. They had assembled a great collection of characters for the party, mostly ranging from her friends to friends from the 12th to Martha's acting groups, with a few of Castle's writing associates thrown in there to liven it up.

Alexis rummaged through her jewelry box to find a pair of diamond stud earrings to wear that wouldn't draw attention away from her pendant. On her wrist she wore a woven bracelet from Pi; they had actually been getting along a lot better now that she was in her father's loft and not back at their apartment. Her dress had also taken some careful planning, she didn't want to be overly formal, but she definitely wanted to look like she was putting in more effort than if she were just hitting the shops with her friends. She'd ended up choosing a three-quarter length dark grey dress with a light grey lace scoop neck top and ¾ length sleeves as well. The pendant set perfectly with her skin tone and the grey tones of her dress brought out the same aquamarine in her eyes as the tiny gems. A blush rose to her cheeks as she looked in the mirror, realizing that Ryan had gotten the color comparison exactly right.

"You ready, Lex?" Pi asked, knocking gently on the door frame, peeking into her bathroom.

"Yeah, just about," she responded, turning around and giving him a gentle smile.

"Wow," he said, directly meeting her eyes after he'd let his own trail up her body. "You look amazing."

"Thanks," she said, blushing. She gestured to the clean button-down shirt and slacks. "You look great too!"

"I'm a very lucky guy to have you on my arm tonight," he winked at her, extending his elbow for her to take. He probably meant it as a gesture of mockery towards the "evil upper class", but she still appreciated the effort he was putting in.

The party was already starting to get underway when the young pair made their way downstairs. All of the couches in the main living area had been moved into Castle's writing office to make a dance floor. The counter was filled with various snacks and punches, still with some non-alcoholic options available. Guests were starting to arrive in a slow, but steady stream.

Alexis grabbed a glass of punch and greeted everyone she knew before she finally saw Paige and Taylor come in, fully bedazzled, though lacking Taylor's new boyfriend.

"Hey!" Alexis hugged both girls happily and they also exchanged hugs with Pi. "Where's Brian?"

"Don't even get me started," Taylor rolled her eyes. "He told me last night that he had family obligations come up. Man, I thought that was what Christmas was for. New Year's Eve is for friends and parties."

"What a terrible excuse!" Alexis exclaimed in sympathy. "No one saves that for last minute."

"Awful," Paige sighed. "I told you he was going to be nothing but bad news. Probably making out with that hot bartender chick from the club."

"Whatever, I don't need his lame ass anyway," Taylor replied, clearly already having had a couple drinks before coming over.

"No way, what you need is an older man," Paige responded matter-of-factly. "They have _experience._ And money."

"Is that what you're going for now?" Alexis asked, turning to Paige as the girl herself had started scanning the room.

"Mm, my roommate's new boyfriend is 43. She gets flowers at least twice per week and new jewels. Plus, girls, let me tell you, the sounds that come from her room when he stays over…," Paige let her voice trail off significantly. "Speaking of jewelry though, is that from your dad? Or do you have a sidepiece?"

"Ha. Ha. It's from a friend, he got some heirlooms and thought I would like it," Alexis responded, touching the pendant gently.

"It is gorgeous," Taylor sighed reverently as she focused her attention on it.

"Oh yeah," Paige agreed readily before turning her attention to look behind her friends. "Also, speaking of gorgeous, who is that cutie?"

"Which one?" Taylor and Alexis both asked as they turned to see a group of people from the 12th precinct walk in to the loft.

"Mm, short, blue eyes, brown hair, sexy smile," Paige described, fixing her eyes on one of the detectives. Alexis blushed at the description, somehow already knowing who she was referencing before she could see him. Yep, there was Ryan, in the middle of the group, an adorable half smile on his face in response to something Esposito had just said.

"Oh boy," Alexis sighed. "That's Detective Ryan. Don't even think about him, his fiancée just left him a couple months ago."

Paige raised her eyebrows at Alexis. "Perfect time to pounce, girl, or have I taught you nothing?"

"Well, at least let him get through the door and start drinking," Taylor replied, sensing Alexis's sudden tension and grabbing Paige's arm to lead her over to the drink options at the counter.

"Fine, fine, plenty of time to dance with pretty boy later," Paige relented, smirking at Alexis's blush. "You've got a thing for him, don't you?"

"No!" Alexis denied. "We're just friends."

"Mmhmm, that's what they all say," Paige winked. Alexis blushed and tried to lead her friends to less a dangerous conversation.

As the music started and the party got into full swing, the dance space filled quickly with people, all happily on their way to being drunk. Alexis made her way through several partners, starting out with her dad, then moving to Pi, another detective she'd worked with when interning with Lanie at the morgue, and then she drank down some water before feeling a gentle tap on her shoulder.

"Hey Kevin," she smiled at him as she turned around.

"May I have the next dance?" Ryan asked, gallantly holding out his hand with a bow. She giggled and felt the need to curtsey before accepting and putting her hand in his. "You are stunning, by the way."

"Thank you," she said, her hand moving to his shoulder as his other hand moved to her waist. She was a little startled to realize that the short heels she'd chosen to wear for the night put her at almost exactly his height. "You look great too, all clean shaven."

"I'm always clean shaven," he replied, a little taken aback.

"I know, I was referencing a movie," Alexis teased.

"Ah, When Harry Met Sally," Ryan eyes brightened with realization after a moment.

"Yeah, we watched it last night," Alexis chuckled. "And, see? You are the first person tonight that I can dance cheek to cheek with."

Alexis pressed her cheek against his, feeling the slight tightening of his skin as he grinned and let out a snort.

"Alright then, in keeping with recreating the scene from a fantastic movie," he started suggestively, then let his voice trail away as he readjusted his grip on her to wrap one arm slighter lower on her back and fold his other arm in to hold her hand tighter to their bodies. Alexis grinned, changing her own hand on his shoulder to wrap her whole arm over his shoulder, her nose practically touching his ear.

The chatter from the rest of the party seemed to melt away as they danced; it was nice, to feel his breathing against her, the softness of his cheek against her own. It was really nice. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting herself forget that they were in her father's loft, with her boyfriend wandering around somewhere, the 11-year age difference between them, and the fact that her father would likely maim Ryan if he suspected anything…

"Any New Year's resolutions?" Ryan's voice carried quietly to her ear, forcing her eyes to open and her to keep in mind in the present, where they were and who they were.

"Yeah," she replied, also lowering her voice so she didn't shout directly into his ear. "I need to go back to being honest with my dad. The only way he's going to see me as an adult is if we both just start acting like adults."

"That sounds like a good resolution," Ryan replied, she could feel his face relax a little and she knew he could feel her smiling in return. "What about you?"

"Mainly, I think, just starting over fresh. Not let my baggage become actual baggage," Ryan sighed a little with his response.

"A valiant effort," she replied. "But we all have baggage. The right woman won't care."

"Mmm," Ryan was saved from having to respond further by someone's shout that the countdown for the ball to drop was starting. Alexis pulled away from Ryan's cheek to look around and locate Pi; he was standing over by the counter with Paige and Taylor next to him. He raised the cup in his hand to her and smiled before turning back to her friends. She smiled back at him and turned back to Ryan as they joined in with the counting.

"7!"

"6!"

"5!"

"4!"

"3!"

"2!"

"1!"

Noise was coming from all directions, people shouting, blowing party kazoos. Out of the corner of her eye, Alexis could see most of the couples on the dance floor kissing. She hesitated only slightly before leaning in towards Ryan. He saw her movement and immediately responded, moving in to let his lips easily brush against hers. Her breath caught ever so slightly at the feel of his warm, surprisingly soft lips. It was the sweetest kiss she'd ever had. Even more sweet than her first kiss with Owen, which had been hesitant; this one with Kevin was thoughtful, gently testing a boundary but oh so careful about not pushing it to a breaking point. He pulled away just enough to end the kiss, but not enough that she couldn't still feel his breath on her face. She opened her eyes to meet his, so blue, both brighter and darker than she'd ever seen them. As the crowd jostled them, they both seemed to realize how closely and tightly they were still holding on to each other. Kevin cleared his throat and stepped away.

"Happy New Year, Alexis," he said, voice somehow both deliciously rough and heartbreakingly gentle at the same time. Before Alexis could get the words out to reply to him, she was thrown into the crowd of people kissing cheeks and cheering the New Year, Kevin had disappeared.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Another short one, but I'm just doing some transitioning here. More to follow soon!

Detective Kevin Ryan was pleased that his life returned to some sort of normalcy in the weeks following Christmas and the start of the new year. He hadn't heard much of anything from Alexis, but after their kiss, he knew it was probably a good thing. They clearly needed some space or this friendship was going to fall into a hazardous territory, both to them and their friends. He respected that, he knew it was the right decision, and he was glad there hadn't been an uncomfortable conversation between them where it needed to be said. But still. He missed her.

It was as he was thinking this, as he mulled over some paperwork at his desk, that Alexis appeared coming into the bull pen from the elevators.

"Hey Alexis," Esposito greeted and Kevin looked up, a stupid smile taking over his face.

"Hey guys, is my dad here?" She asked, greeting them both nicely, then looking around.

"Yeah, he's in the break room," Ryan gestured where they could make out the figures of Castle and Beckett at the espresso machine.

"Thanks," Alexis gave both detectives a grin before heading over.

"What was that about?" Esposito asked, glancing over at Ryan.

"I don't know," Ryan said, shrugging. "We haven't talked much the past couple weeks. But it looks like good news."

Esposito turned back in the direction of the break room to see Castle and Alexis hugging, then Beckett and Alexis hugging. Esposito got up and wandered over to see what he could overhear. Ryan stayed where he was; if Alexis wanted him to know what was happening, she would tell him.

Sure enough, after a couple more minutes, Alexis left the break room, allowing Esposito in, under the guise of getting coffee, and she wandered over to Ryan's desk.

"Hey," she said, smiling and jumping up to sit on one side of his desk. He turned in his chair to face her, a half smile on his face and one eyebrow raised.

"Hey," he replied. "What was that all about?"

"I broke up with Pi," she said, not looking at all broken up about it. "I wanted to give it another chance after how well Christmas and New Year's went, but getting back to that apartment and thinking of spending a whole new semester stuck in the same loop I was in last year… I couldn't do it. It's completely not worth it. Regardless of how stubborn I am, I do want good enough grades this semester to be proud to get into med school, and not feel like I have to play catch up over the summer because I didn't do as well as I wanted."

"Ah," Ryan nodded. "A good decision, I think. Terrible to lead someone on when you've already decided the relationship is doomed."

"Exactly," Alexis said, thinking briefly of Ryan and Jenny. She wondered how long it had been that they'd had the same arguments, who was leading who on? She doubted she'd ever know, but what she did know was that he looked good. Tired, but as well put together as always, and the smile on his face always made him look good. "Oh, I wanted to return this to you."

Alexis pulled a key out of her pocket and handed it to him. She saw a flash of disappointment in his eyes, but he did take it from her.

"You don't have to, you know. No one else to use it."

"I know, but I have my home back again. And you are going to have dates," she replied, giving him a friendly half smirk. "Many dates. How weird would it be to say 'Oh sorry, by the way, this is my friend's daughter that just comes over sometimes,'?"

"Hmm, maybe you do have a point," he said, putting a fake thoughtful look on his face. "You know you're always welcome though, right?"

"Yeah, I do," she said.

Alexis swung her legs back and forth from his desk as he leaned back in his chair.

"So, last semester, senior year. Are you ready for it?" She'd been asked the question many times, but somehow when Ryan asked, it felt like a peace offering. He wasn't upset with her for giving the key back or mostly avoiding him for the past couple weeks. But the glimmer in his eyes also told her that he still cared. They were still friends. Maybe they'd had a crazy month and a half where no one else really seemed to matter, but that was behind them now. They were both content to move forward with their own independent lives. It gave her an odd sort of courage that she didn't even know she'd been looking for.

During the conversation between Ryan and Alexis, there was another conversation happening between Esposito, Beckett, and Castle.

"I'm glad to hear she's coming home," Esposito said to Castle after he and Beckett explained what Alexis had come to tell them. "I know Ry's been pushing her to for ages."

"He has?" Castle looked surprised, turning away from Esposito to look at Ryan, talking with Alexis, who had taken a seat on his desk. The pair looked strangely domestic, though they weren't even touching one another.

"Yeah, I guess she was having issues with Pi and Jenny had just left him, so they bonded," Esposito said shrugging, remembering the conversation with Ryan before Christmas. Looking at them now, it wasn't out of place to see them sitting close, joking with each other.

"I knew they'd gotten friendlier, but not how much," Beckett contributed, also now watching the pair closely.

"We just fought over a guy," Castle sighed. "We don't have to fight about Ryan now, do we?"

"Nah, man, they're just friends," Esposito chuckled, clapping Castle on the shoulder. "We're all glad your fight is over, no need to start a new one."

"Although," Beckett started, a teasing smile on her face. "They would make a really cute couple. Imagine the blue, blue eyes those babies would have."

Castle groaned loudly, stuck his fingers in his ears, and turned his back on all of them to walk out of the break room. Esposito and Beckett laughed, but then Beckett turned serious.

"You don't think…?"

"Not now," Esposito assured her, but as he watched Ryan lean back in his chair, relaxed and easily meeting the red-head's gaze. "In the future, though, I'm not so sure."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Beckett sighed. "We'll have to keep an eye on them."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Bear with me for the ages of the nephews here, I already know it doesn't quite line up with Ben's first word earlier in the story, but this scene popped into my head and I went with it. Hope you can overlook the discrepancy and enjoy! :)

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Alexis was both terrifyingly and pleasantly surprised at how quickly time passed when you weren't quite sure whether you were hating or loving your life. She was happy with her decision to move back in with her father, but at the same time, she was an adult now and really needed to have her own space. Especially with her dad and Kate very steadily maintaining the honeymoon phase of their new marriage. So, Alexis made a new decision. She was going to find a roommate the old-fashioned way and, seeing as she'd been accepted, she would stay at Columbia for medical school following undergraduate graduation in a week. It was all very sound and grown-up reasoning, but somehow that didn't make her want to start her new life any sooner. She was dragging her feet.

Something which Paige, Taylor, and some other friends from Columbia were very excited to help her forget about.

It was Saturday night, the start of senior week at Columbia, for all of the undergraduates, exams were now a thing of the past and they had an entire week to spend drinking together, sending each other off in style.

Staying with Paige this week meant that Alexis was thrilled she could stay somewhere other than the loft with her headphones in to avoid hearing certain things from her father and new step-mother. At least, she was thrilled up until the point that she was maybe just a bit drunk and her place to sleep tonight had gotten mooched out by some guy that Paige was currently sucking face with. Alexis scowled at the ground, she'd left after Paige had told her that she'd be taking this guy home and they would most definitely be having sex. Alexis was no prude, but she'd rather be anywhere else. Paige was notoriously loud during sex.

Alexis frowned again at the direction her feet were taking her, leading her away from the club, down to a very familiar block. She stopped in front of a very familiar entryway and sighed. Her subconscious had led her here and she wasn't sure whether to feel betrayed by herself or grateful. She pressed the buzzer just inside the main door.

"Ryan," came the answering buzz a minute later.

"Hey, it's Alexis," she sighed into the speaker, leaning her head against the wall. "Can I come up for a minute?"

He didn't respond, but a second later, there was another buzz and the door clicked open.

Alexis stumbled slightly as she made her way up the three flights of stairs to his apartment, wondering what she would find. She and Ryan had made a sort of unspoken pact after their New Year's kiss, they both needed some space. They would only send an occasional text if Ryan heard about her exams or she heard about something difficult in one of Ryan's cases, she made sure to say hi whenever he was over for a poker night or if she went down to the precinct, but for the most part, they'd kept their boundaries intact. She knew he'd been going on dates again, though Esposito had made fun of him for not being able to get to a third date a couple weeks ago. As she knocked on his door, she desperately hoped that she wasn't interrupting anything with a woman.

The door was opened by a chubby little boy with wiry black hair, hazel eyes, pale skin, and no clothes on. Absolutely zero clothing on.

"Max! PJs! Now!" Ryan came around the corner with another dark-haired boy resting on his hip, though this boy was in SpongeBob feetie pajamas, thumb in mouth, eyes closed, head nestled on Ryan's shoulder. The naked boy just gave a fierce grin and darted towards the living room.

"Wow, geez, how many years has it been since we've seen each other?" Alexis joked, leaning against the door she'd closed behind her for support. Despite the drool on his shirt, ketchup in his hair, and his bare feet, she couldn't help the fleeting thought that seeing his domesticity was sexy as hell.

"Mm, funny," he replied, glancing around to the living room where he could see a pair of hazel eyes gleaming at him from the other side of the couch. He sighed and gestured with his head to the boy in his arms. "My nephew, Ben, and the deviant over there is Max. I let Karen talk me into babysitting so she and Tommy could have a date night."

"He's cute," Alexis smiled at the little one, gently poking at his pajamaed foot.

Ryan hummed in agreement, twisting his neck to kiss little Ben's head before turning back to Alexis. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just friends being jerks," she sighed. "Impossible to flag down a cab right now and definitely not the time of night to take the subway home alone and dressed like this."

"Are you drunk?" Ryan asked, taking in the full view of her, make up heavier than usual, short skirt, long dark tights, heels at least 6 inches tall, blouse open ever so slightly more than decent.

"Um… Not that much," she rolled her eyes at his suspicious squinting. "But also definitely not sober enough to try to get home without calling a cab."

"Sit down, drink some water," Ryan chuckled warmly, shaking his head and filling a glass of water from the sink. "Let me get the kids into bed and we can catch up."

Alexis smiled at him in thanks, squeezing the little foot that she'd still been poking and sat down on her old stool at his counter. Ryan walked back to his guest bedroom, carefully avoiding looking at the naked boy still hiding in the living room. He disappeared into the bedroom for a few minutes before coming back out, minus the child on his hip and instead wielding a pair of Pokemon pajamas. The naked nephew dodged around the couch, but Ryan leapt over it and play-tackled the boy to the ground. Alexis grinned as she watched the scene and heard screeching giggles escape the little boy for a few minutes before Ryan stood up, dangling the freshly dressed youngster up by his ankles. The boy's face was bright red, but the grin on his face was true enough to how he felt about his uncle.

"Say goodnight to Miss Alexis, Max," Ryan said, righting the boy a little so he was instead slung over Ryan's shoulders.

Max just waved at Alexis as he was touted back to the guest bedroom where his brother was already asleep. Alexis waggled her fingers back at him. Ryan stayed in the bedroom with them for several minutes before slowly creeping back out and closing the door on them.

"Sorry about that," he said, taking the stool next to her. "I let them stay up _way_ past their bedtime."

"It's all good. That's what good uncles do," she said waving it off before thinking about her words. "At least, I would think that's what they do. I don't have any uncles. That I know of."

Ryan chuckled and nudged the glass of water further in front of her. "So, what happened with your friends?"

"I was supposed to stay with Paige tonight, but then she decided to hook up at the club. My other friends either hooked up or had already gone home. And I already told Dad that I would be staying at Paige's tonight, so I didn't want to turn up drunk to find him and Kate naked on the couch or something equally embarrassing," Alexis drank some water and looked over at Ryan again. "You know you have ketchup in your hair?"

"Do I?" He asked, hands reaching up to his head, searching for a second before finding it. He blushed and grabbed a paper towel to wet it in the sink and go back to his hair. She giggled at him.

"I guess the hating clothes thing runs in the family?" Alexis joked, remembering where she'd been last semester around this time.

"Ha, I think Max just does it for the attention, he's very into tickle wars at the moment," Ryan smiled back at her. "My parents told me I did it because I hated the constriction. My mother especially likes to tell people how I became competent at ripping off buttons at a very young age."

Alexis laughed as Ryan finished the ketchup clean-up and then started rinsing the dishes in his sink before loading them into the dishwasher.

"So, do you want to call a cab to take you home? Or do you want to stay on the couch?" He asked, starting the dishwasher.

Alexis huffed a sigh and laid her head down on the counter. "I should go home; I didn't mean to interrupt your night."

"Don't worry about it, I'd much rather you come here than stumble around alone where anything could happen. You should sober up a little before you go though," Ryan said, refilling her water glass. "It would make me feel better about letting you out."

"Mm," Alexis mumbled, rather than picking up the glass, she let her arms shift to cushion her head and closed her eyes. Her anger at her friends had propelled her earlier; now that she was safe, the alcohol was muddling her brain. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she just needed to go home, regardless of what she would find. Another part of her brain spoke out loud though. "You do have a wonderful couch."

"I know," Ryan chuckled at her. "Picked it out myself."

She grinned blearily into her arms, still not quite willing to get up.

"Just stay here tonight, Alexis. It's already past midnight."

"Ok," she murmured, thinking of his couch and not willing to argue with herself any longer. At that, Ryan helped her off the stool, guiding her over to the couch. As he wandered off to his bedroom, she struggled to take off her heels and pulled the hair elastic and bobby pins out of her hair in the hopes of getting the dull ache in her head to stop. Ryan came back seconds later with a pair of shorts, t shirt, pillow, and a thick blanket to place in her hands.

"Think you'll need anything else?" he asked. She looked at the stack that he was holding out to her and shook her head. "Good night then, Alexis."

"Mm, thanks," Alexis replied, though he was already halfway back to his bedroom. She changed out of her tight clothes as quickly as she could and then snuggled into the couch. The pillow he'd given her smelled faintly like him. Soap, that stupid hair gel he used, and his own special brand of musk. She sighed into the pillow and tugged the blanket around her. She'd missed this.

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The next morning, Alexis awoke to tiny fingers poking at her face and shoulder. The dull throbbing of her head reminded her of the amount that she'd drank last night, but the dark brown eyes in the pudgy little face staring at her were giving her no other clues. Especially when the little boy opened his mouth to ask her something.

"An bhfuil tú i do chodladh? Uncail? An bhfuil sí marbh?" The little boy's tongue lilted over words that were unfamiliar to her.

"No, she is not dead, Bennie," Ryan came over to the couch and crouched in front of Alexis, gently pulling his little nephew back slightly into his arms. "Ben, I'd like you to meet my friend, Alexis. Seo é mo chara."

Alexis wiggled her arm out of her blanket to hold her hand out to the little boy.

"Nice to meet you, Ben."

"Hi," he whispered, eyes widening at the fact that she was moving now, and immediately looking for cover back in Ryan's chest.

"Go on, Ben, it's ok," Ryan nudged him, taking his nephew's tiny hand to reach out in return to Alexis's. "Is é mo chara do chara. Geallaim go bhfuil sí deas."

Slowly the little boy's hand touched hers and Alexis held onto it as gently as she could. The handshake lasted less than three seconds before Ben pulled away again and wrapped himself around Ryan's neck, mumbling softly something that sounded like 'cara.'

"Ok, good enough for now," Ryan said, wrapping his arm under Ben to support him, he smiled at Alexis. "How are you feeling?"

"A little like I woke up in a parallel universe," Alexis replied, shifting under her blanket to sit up a little straighter on the couch. "You're, like, actually bilingual? And so are your nephews?"

"So many things you don't know about me, Little Castle," he responded, teasingly. "Do you want aspirin or pancakes?"

"Ugh, both," she groaned. "Or neither. I should go."

"You would miss pancakes?!" Came a shout from directly behind her head. She winced at the sound, but turned to see the naked boy, no longer naked, from last night, Max, propping himself against the back of the couch. "Uncle Kev makes the best pancakes. He lets us put M&Ms in them. As many as we want!"

"Well," Alexis chuckled at the older boy. "How could I resist that?"

"I'll bring some aspirin over," Ryan said, setting Ben back on the ground and getting up to lead Max back to the kitchen.

"Do you mind if I go wash my face? I feel like I slept in plaster," Alexis asked, after swallowing the pills when he came back. Ryan just sniggered and shook his head.

"There's some facewash in the cabinet and towels under the sink. If you want, you can just take a shower, give the aspirin a little time to work," Ryan gave her a suggestive half smirk. "Pancakes are going to take a little while and Max gets excitable when he cooks."

"Seems like he gets excitable a lot," Alexis replied as she heard what sounded like a bowl falling to the floor in the kitchen and two boys start arguing, one softer in Irish and the other louder in English.

"It's what little boys do," Ryan shrugged it off and went to go clean up the kitchen.

As soon as Alexis got to the bathroom and saw the horror that was her face and hair, she decided to take Ryan up on his offer of a shower before breakfast. It was no wonder Ben was terrified of her, she looked like a train wreck.

The last time she'd been in this bathroom, there were still miniscule touches of Jenny around, an empty half of the medicine cabinet, a single box of tampons, clearly feminine volumizing shampoo and conditioner left on the shelf in the shower. These things were gone now, Ryan's razors, shaving cream, and hair gel took up more space, as if he wasn't saving the empty space for her anymore. As she showered, she felt the aspirin doing its duty, the dull throb of her head relieved and she felt much less stiff. Unfortunately, it also had the added effect of the gut-wrenching guilt at interrupting Ryan's time with his nephews with her stupid drunken antics. After breakfast, she was going straight back to the loft. That was it, no more wasting Ryan's time.


	8. Chapter 8

"Mo chara!" Ben, surprisingly, was the one that greeted her as she came back into the kitchen. She'd pulled her skirt and tights back on, but kept Ryan's t-shirt to be a little more modest.

"Hi, Ben," she said, taking the stool next to him. "What does mo chara mean?"

"My friend," Max replied for his brother, pushing his stool over to perch on Alexis's other side. "He needs to start speaking English before he starts school or Sister Maria will send him home with notes. And also, he'll have no friends. No one likes weird kids, Bennie."

"Níl mé aisteach!" Ben pouted.

"Max, don't call your brother weird," Ryan admonished as he poured Alexis some coffee while monitoring the pancakes that were half cooked on the stove. "You used to do the same thing."

"Irish makes more sense than English," Max huffed. "But it's Sister Maria's rules."

"Hey Ben, how about we speak English for do chara nua, so she can understand it?" Ryan offered placatingly to both boys as he set the first stack of pancakes in front of them. Alexis laughed at the pancakes, the M&M's formed bleeding color smiling faces, it was both morbid and hilarious at the same time.

"Ok," Ben replied slowly. "Thank you for pancakes, Uncle Kewin."

"You're welcome, Ben," Ryan leaned over and kissed the top of Ben's head. He handed the maple syrup to Alexis, carefully avoiding Max's reaching hands. "Will you be the syrup monitor?"

"I would be honored," Alexis responded importantly, pouring just a small bit of syrup out onto each of the boys' plates. She watched curiously as Ben leaned down to be level with the counter, trying to scoop the pancake off the plate to slide directly into his mouth. "Do you want some help cutting?"

Ben had stabbed the center of his pancake and just seemed to realize he couldn't fit the whole thing in his mouth in one bite.

"Yes, please."

Alexis leaned over and cut his pancake up into bite-sized pieces. Looking over at Max showed he had a much better handle on the concept of cutting than his little brother.

"Thank you," Ryan said, noticing her actions. He flipped the last of the pancakes onto a large plate, then separated out one for himself and joined them, standing at the other side of the counter to eat his own pancake.

"Pancakes for breakfast, Kev! Really?" Alexis startled from her stool as the door was unlocked and opened. The woman standing on the other side had the same chestnut brown curls and pale white skin as Ryan, but her eyes were much more brown than his. "And you _can_ tell me next time you have a date!"

"She's just a friend, not a date," Ryan corrected the woman quickly. "And I thought you weren't coming to get them until lunchtime."

"Tommy can't stand the silence," the woman rolled her eyes. "Besides, we have chores to take care of today, don't we? Considering someone didn't clean his room before he left yesterday?"

"Sorry, Mommy," Max winced, jumping down from his stool to wrap his arms around her legs, begging for forgiveness.

"Mmhmm, I'm sure," she said, ruffling his hair affectionately. "Why don't you go pack up your things. I know Uncle Kevin didn't do it."

Max nodded and made his way back to the bedroom. Ben seemed to understand his mother's head gesture and slipped off his stool to follow his brother.

"I'm Karen," the woman said, finally turning to Alexis again now that her sons had left the room. "Are you Kev's new girlfriend?"

"Uh, no?" She wasn't sure why she sounded so unsure, but this woman was oddly more intimidating than almost anyone she'd ever met before. "I'm Alexis."

"OH! You're Gossip Girl girl?" Karen's demeanor immediately softened and she took her son's vacated stool.

"Yeah, I was binging, thought it would be funny," Alexis offered her a hesitant smile.

"Why are you sitting?" Ryan pointedly asked, staring down his sister.

"Those boys will take hours packing their things without supervision," Karen replied, leveling Ryan with an amused smirk.

"Fine. I'll go help them," Ryan responded sarcastically. "But no sitting here talking about me."

"You're so vain," Karen shook her head at him, faking a dissatisfied look. Ryan held eye contact with her for another long moment before leaving the kitchen to follow the boys to the bedroom.

"So," Karen turned back to Alexis. "Not a date."

"No, definitely not," Alexis said determinedly. "Some friends screwed me over and I needed a place to crash."

"Kev doesn't have many female friends," Karen replied, watching Alexis carefully, as if looking for something in her demeanor to scrutinize. "Or actually many friends at all, really."

"He's been working with my dad for ages now," Alexis explained.

"So, how old are you?"

"Ummm, 22? I graduate from Columbia next week."

"Ok," Karen watched her a little more closely and Alexis fidgeted as she piled up the syrup-covered plates from breakfast. "Congratulations on your graduation."

"Thanks," Alexis replied trying not to be super obvious about avoiding eye contact.

"Alexis," the softened, yet still commanding tone in Karen's voice made the red-head put the plates down and look over at her. "Be careful."

"I'm sorry?" Alexis frowned; not quite sure she'd actually heard this woman she barely knew warn her with no context whatsoever.

"You have what some would say a call to the Fae about you; it means that you are beautiful, bright, and honest, something that faeries look for when they target humans with either very good luck or dangerously bad luck," Karen's voice turned serious, but somehow not condescending. She offered a small shrug, as if in apology after he explanation. "Kevin is the same way. It calls to my more protective side."

"Thanks?" Alexis said, not quite sure how to take that. Ryan's sister wasn't crazy, right?

"It's not that I believe in faeries, but I have seen many good people get into terrible situations, and there are certain types of good people somehow more vulnerable to it. I would hate to see you as one of them."

Alexis wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, but thankfully she was saved by the sound of the bedroom door opening.

"Oh good, Kare, you haven't scared her off," Ryan came out of the bedroom with each boy carrying his own backpack next to him.

"How could you think so little of me?" Karen pretended to be wounded as she stood to pick up her younger boy. "The sister who raised you?"

"Because I know you," Ryan gave her a perceptive smirk before giving each of his nephews a goodbye kiss.

"See you soon, Uncle Kev!" Max waved at Alexis too. "Bye!"

"Bye, slán," Ben said, waving before wrapping his arms around his mother's neck.

"I hope to see you around, Alexis," Karen said, turning away with a firm hold on both boys. "Stay out of trouble, Kev."

"Yep, say hey to Tommy for me," Ryan closed the door behind her and turned back to Alexis.

"What did she say to you?"

"Something about being careful of faeries," Alexis replied, also getting to her feet, trying not to sound as concerned as she felt about it.

"Oh," Ryan's face relaxed, as if he was expecting her to say something else. "Don't worry about that. She did her whole thesis on Irish folklore and its relevance to the modern preconception of luck. Personally, I think she was just getting pissed off about the whole 'Luck of the Irish' stereotype and she was being particularly angsty that year. Now that she's had the kids though, she sees it everywhere and thinks that by scaring people with Fae stories, maybe the karmic universe will balance out by the time the boys grow up."

"She kind of freaked me out," Alexis scrunched up her face a little, glad to know that maybe Karen wasn't quite crazy, just messing with her.

"Don't let her get to you," Ryan reached across the counter and squeezed Alexis's hand. "I promise you; no faeries are coming to kidnap you or curse you with bad luck. She only does it because she likes you."

Alexis snorted a little self-consciously, when he put it that way, it really did seem like just some hazing nonsense, a roundabout way of welcoming someone new into a close-knit group.

"Do you want to hang around for a bit? I feel like we haven't talked in ages," Ryan offered as he finished clearing up from breakfast.

"Yeah," Alexis replied after a moment or two of hesitation. "I'd like that."

Ryan refilled both their mugs with coffee, handed hers back with a smile, and they walked out to sit on the couch. Alexis set her mug on the coffee table to fold up the blanket she'd used overnight, Ryan took it from her and stacked it on top of the pillow and set them on the recliner near the bookshelf.

"So, what have you been up to?" He asked her as they moved things around.

"Just, you know, studying, making sure I've got everything in the clear to graduate," Alexis replied, settling herself in the corner of the couch with her feet up and knees in front of her to rest her coffee on. "This week is senior week, so all fun and games now before actual graduation."

"Any new boyfriend prospects? I'm assuming no relationship since you came here last night instead of going to someone else."

"Not really," Alexis blushed as she remembered some of her less than stellar moments with guys during the semester. "College guys don't really seem to be interested in relationships. At least not committed ones."

"Hook-ups?" Ryan asked, sitting on the other side of the couch and propping his feet on the coffee table.

"Yeah, a few," Alexis stopped, looking over her knees at Ryan. Kevin. There had been something on her mind for a while now. And she couldn't talk about it with her dad. Ever. And most of her girl friends didn't seem to have her problems with one-night stands, so she'd never really felt comfortable talking to them about it. But this was Kevin. Maybe… "Can we talk about sex?"

"What do you mean by that?" Kevin's eyes slid quickly over to her, an eyebrow raised in question, but not quite accusation.

"I don't know, I'm trying to treat it like just another thing I'm trying to figure out, but all my friends seem to be light years ahead of me, so it's embarrassing," Alexis looked back at her knees again. "But since you already know my general boyfriend experience anyway, it seems less so?"

"Ok," Kevin responded hesitantly, thinking over her request as he took another sip of his coffee. "You're probably not as clueless as you think you are. Being in a Catholic school for 12 years, where sex wasn't even supposed to exist until marriage, I know that it can sometimes take a while to pick up on certain things."

"So, can I tell you that hook-ups suck and the sex is terrible? Or is there just something wrong with me? Something that I'm missing?" Alexis blurted, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"Alexis," Kevin started, then he set his mug down on the table and reached over to grab her ankles, pulling her knees down so that he could see her face and her stockinged feet rested in his lap. "There is nothing wrong with you. A lot of guys, especially young, drunk college guys, are assholes and selfish about sex. That's the way it always has been and always will be. Never be embarrassed about needing more than a hook-up to feel satisfied."

Alexis raised her eyes slowly to him, now that she couldn't hide behind her knees.

"So is that just how it's going to be? That I'll never enjoy one-night stands?"

"Do you want to spend the rest of your life searching out one-night stands?" Kevin asked, reasonably.

"No."

"Then why does it matter?" His question was soft and his hand squeezed her foot in a subtle reassurance.

"I don't know," she whispered. She felt lost, half the reason she'd been so angry last night was the fact that she probably could have pulled a guy for herself, but she just really really didn't want to. She'd already had enough excitement for the night, and yet, her friends were still constantly searching for more entertainment, more sex.

"Being emotionally invested in your partner is a huge part of having great sex, at least, in my opinion," Kevin said, starting to get an inkling of an idea why this was bothering her so much. "Hook-up culture isn't for everyone and most people grow out of it by their mid to late-twenties. You're already far too mature for your age, so it doesn't actually surprise me at all that it's not cutting it for you."

"All my friends are just kind of obsessed with drinking and having sex right now," Alexis sighed, finally relaxing a little about having this conversation. Kevin wasn't judging her and he wasn't making it uncomfortable for her to talk about. He was just being honest, like he always was with her. "And I'm over it. I think I realized that last night, but I don't know how to tell them I just want to hang out with them, minus the clubbing and the partying and the hooking up. But I also don't want them to feel like they have to sacrifice this part of their life to make me happy."

"It could just be a sacrifice you have to make for this week? They feel like they have to get the last hurrah out before moving into the real adult world?" Kevin offered.

"Yeah, I hope so," Alexis sighed again, then wiggled her toes in Kevin's lap, in an attempt to get rid of some of the tension and awkwardness she'd built up. "Do you have a new girlfriend yet?"

"Nah," he replied, chuckling at her toes as he went back to his coffee. "At first it was hard to stop comparing dates to Jenny, and then it was difficult trying to figure out why I was forcing myself through dinners with women I would never trust to pet-sit."

"You don't have a pet," Alexis raised her eyebrow at him.

"I know, that's my vetting system though. If I had a pet, would I want this person to watch it? If not, why do I think I'd want or need them as a fixture in my life?" Kevin shrugged. "It made sense when I first came up with it, so I haven't bothered with a new one."

"It's actually a good one," Alexis said, thinking about it. She wondered if she'd have trusted any of the guys she'd dated or slept with to pet-sit. Probably just Ashley. Wow, maybe she needed to come up with some sort of potential boyfriend screening system. "Would you trust me to watch your imaginary pet?"

"I trusted you with my key for ages," Kevin grinned, a light blush rising on his cheeks. "I think you'd pass."

"I'm touched," she grinned back at him before draining the last of her coffee, setting the empty mug on the table, and leaning back over the armrest of the couch. "So, would you say you are a cat person or a dog person?"

"Definitely a dog person," Kevin laughed, resting his head against the back of the couch.

"Eager to please, boundless energy?" Alexis asked, shooting him a grin.

"I was thinking more along the lines of loyalty and intuitiveness, thought that may be optimistic of me," Kevin responded, shrugging easily.

"Optimism is another dog trait, isn't it?" Alexis wondered aloud. "Yeah, you're definitely a dog person."

"Thanks," Kevin snorted and pulled at her toes as he repeated her question back to her. "What about you? Cat or dog?"

"No idea," Alexis twirled a lock of hair between her fingers as she thought about her answer. "Probably a bit of both. Curling up with a good book and a mug of tea is always a viable option for me, which is more of a cat person trait. But, I also want to adventure, get out and explore the world."

"Yeah, I can see that about you. Both is good."

"Yeah, plus, really anything with four legs, lots of fluff, and adorable-ness is always good in my books."

"True enough," Kevin laughed, finishing his own coffee before readjusting her feet so he could get up. "More coffee?"

"No thanks," Alexis handed her mug back to him and then reached over to the coffee table for her phone. Kevin took her mug and meandered back into the kitchen where she could hear him pouring the last of the coffee out.

Text From: Paige Where r u?

Text From: Alexis Stayed with another friend. Not far from campus.

Text From: Paige We good?

Text From: Alexis Yeah :)

Text From: Alexis Good hook-up?

Text From: Paige 10/10

Text From: Paige We'll get u 1 2nite

Text From: Alexis I'll pass, laying low today. Catch up with you guys tomorrow?

Text From: Paige Sure

Text From: Paige U sure ur ok?

Text From: Alexis Yeah, just figuring things out

Text From: Paige K. C U 2morrow!

Alexis set her phone aside as Kevin made himself comfortable on the couch again, putting his feet up on the coffee table, sinking back into the cushions with the tv remote in his hand. She watched him, sweatpants hugging low on his hips, loose well-worn Beatles t-shirt covering what she knew was a leanly muscled chest. She wasn't quite sure if it was remnants of the conversation they'd had about sex or maybe her haze of hangover, aspirin, sugar, and coffee, but she was hyper-aware of him. He looked good. He smelled good. And maybe the whole 'her dad wouldn't like it' excuse felt like it was running a bit thin. She trusted him and he trusted her. Maybe…

"Everything ok?" He asked, gesturing to her cell phone with his head.

"Yeah," she said, mentally shaking herself. "Just Paige, making sure everything is good."

"And is it?"

"Yeah," she smiled at him, her mind's earlier wandering taking over her brain and her hormones. Alexis changed her own position on the couch so that she could nestle her head onto the junction between his shoulder and chest while he lifted his arm to wrap around her. He flipped channels for a few minutes before landing on a channel showing Angel reruns from 2005, then dropped the remote back onto the coffee table.

Alexis reached over and grabbed his now free hand. His hands weren't what you'd expect from a cop. He had long fingers, neatly manicured nails, and a surprising lack of callouses. Alexis traced her fingers over the bridge of his palm, testing the slightly rougher skin there.

"Something wrong with my hand?" Kevin asked, his voice coming out much softer than he'd meant it to.

"No," she murmured, stretching her fingers out so that they rested flat against his. Their hands were a good match for size, her fingers only slightly thinner and shorter than his. She let her fingers fall gently between his. And waited. She could feel his breath held in his chest. She was holding her own breath. Waiting. There were no lines being crossed. Not yet.

Then his fingers folded around hers, falling into place. Alexis let her breath fall out of her lungs and looked up at him. His eyes were the same bright, dark blue that they'd been on New Year's Eve. She shifted herself ever so slightly, lifting her head just a few inches higher, and closed her eyes. His lips were just as soft and warm as she remembered them. But this kiss felt slightly less sweet and a whole lot more restrained. Strong fingers tightened around hers as those lips parted beneath hers.

"Alexis," he breathed out her name, breath fanning her face. But she knew what it was. It was a question and a warning. She opened her eyes to meet his, their lips still barely touching, but he was staring at her, pupils blown wide.

"I missed you," she felt herself whisper, using that to excuse whatever was happening here. This time when Kevin pulled his face away, his fingers stayed tangled in hers and his arm remained tightened around her shoulders.

"This is a bad idea," he said, sighing, letting his head fall against the back of the couch.

"Why is it such a bad idea? Just because of my dad?" Alexis griped, her whole body was warm, and her head was starting to get slightly fuzzy. Not from alcohol, but possibly from breathlessness, or just being near him.

"No," Kevin replied, though it was in a voice that clearly meant 'yes'. He sighed again and did pull his hands away from her this time, to reach up and drag them through his hair. "At least, Castle isn't the only reason that nothing can happen between us."

"So?" Alexis sat up, forcing herself away from his chest. As delightful as the fuzziness was, she wanted this to be a real conversation. She didn't want to seduce him; they were friends. They could easily become more, but if that wasn't what he wanted, then she wanted to know why. "What are these other reasons?"

"Are you ready to get married? Possibly have kids in the next couple years?" He asked, taking a full deep breath as she moved away. He also needed to do this conversation justice and not be clouded from her effect on him.

"I'm going to be in med school," Alexis responded carefully, thinking about both his question and her answer. "I don't really know what I'll be ready for. But I'll probably want to have a job before kids."

"Exactly," he replied softly, looking over to meet her eyes. "You don't know what you want or what you're ready for. Which is completely normal for your age."

He added this second part as she looked ready to argue with him.

"I do know what I want. I know what I'm looking for and I wouldn't dream of trying to pressure someone who isn't ready into the things that I want."

"It doesn't have to be like that," Alexis tried after a few minutes of letting his words sink in. This wasn't about her father, or even the age difference. It was about what he wanted and what she wanted. Which were different. But it didn't have to matter, right? People got into relationships for a whole host of other reasons than just wanting to share an end goal. There were many relationships that people knew were never going to end well, but that didn't stop them from entering them. For example, her mom and her dad. They still had sex when they saw each other, she wasn't that naïve, but they were never going to get remarried. "What if it was just one day?"

"One day?" Kevin turned to look at her again, after muting the demon gore on the tv to give her his full attention.

"Yeah, we agree on a start and an end and that's that. After that, we go back to being friends. Or not friends and you're just a guy who works with my dad again."

"That sounds like a terrible idea."

"Yeah, but this way, we won't have to wonder," Alexis tried. He was right, this was going to end badly. And yet, she wanted him. She wanted to see, just once, what it was like to not be a hook-up or going to bed with someone with no experience. What it was like to have this emotional connection plus the sex. "One day and done."

"Alexis, I really don't think – "

"Other people date and then realize they're not right for each other. Not every relationship ends in a marriage. This one won't and we already know that, but we should at least get the chance to explore it, right?"

"That doesn't even make any sense."

"Well, we skipped the whole dating/getting to know each other part, where we'd sleep together, but still not actually know that you want to get married and I'm not sure yet."

Kevin stared at her, slight frown marring his face, but she knew that meant he was thinking. She met his eyes and held his gaze.

"This is insane," he muttered, shaking his head slightly, but still not letting his eyes leave hers. She was gorgeous, he loved spending time with her, and the sex would quite likely be fantastic. And really, what man could resist the challenge to get an amazing young woman to orgasm? "We talk about sex once and suddenly you're all over me?"

"It's not _that_ out of the blue," Alexis couldn't help rolling her eyes a little. "I've had a crush on you since I was 15."

"Really?" he snorted in self-depreciation although the wrinkling of his forehead smoothed out. She grinned and nodded at him, unable to help sending a little wink at him too. Kevin held her gaze carefully, observing the soft hopefulness in those light eyes. He could also see the determination. She wasn't going to give up that easily. "Ok."

"Ok?" Alexis's eyes widened as that word sunk in. "Ok as in _ok_?"

"Sure," he said. "One thing though."

"What?"

"Not today."

"Not today?"

"Nope. Go home, think about it. I'll think about it. Next weekend is graduation, so you should spend that time celebrating, not hiding away in my apartment. So, two weeks from now," Kevin picked up his phone off the coffee table, scrolling to the calendar on the screen. "Saturday, the 4th of June."

"In two weeks? We're going to pick a no-strings-attached sex day for two weeks from now?" Kevin nodded and Alexis couldn't help but feel that their roles were a bit reversed here. Wasn't she the one who overthought things? Wasn't the guy supposed to be so overcome with lust and hormones that he jumped her immediately? Hmm… Maybe she was just horny. Maybe he had a point. If they were going to do this, it would have to be in a way that they wouldn't regret later. Otherwise, their whole friendship might just as well be ruined. He didn't want to risk that. It made her heart ache to realize it, but he was right, he valued their friendship too much to let her do this. "Ok then. Saturday, June 4th."

"Good," Kevin leaned over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She supposed it could have felt condescending or even like something her dad would have done, but it lingered too long and his hand had found its way to wrap itself in her hair, so the pressure changed it, making her blush with heat instead.

She stayed a while longer, resuming her position with her feet tucked into Kevin's lap, as they laughed at Cordelia and Wesley's quips on the show. When she left, she hugged him, thanked him again for letting her stay. He just smiled, wished her luck with her friends for their last week as undergraduate students, and told her not to get too drunk. It was all nice and civil, but on the inside, it felt like she was burning up. Now that she'd had that little taste of him, she couldn't wait for their one day. Two weeks? Psh, nothing to her now, and yet it felt like forever at the same time.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: OK, here is where the rating goes up. Shameless smut alert ;)

Kevin fell back against the door after Alexis walked out. He was surprised his legs had managed to walk her to the door without shaking, without giving away some of what he was feeling for her. She was a beautiful young woman; anyone could see that. You'd have to be a blind fool if you didn't. But, she was also a friend and the daughter of another friend, the step-daughter of his boss. And, what he'd told her in their discussion of this "One Day" theory was also still true. He had his career and now he wanted his family; she was still working up to that. He did not want to take any of her young adult freedoms away from her; however willingly she wanted to give them up.

No. One day. That's what she'd said. He could do that, he thought, leaning against the door. One day to hold her, let her turn him on in a way he hadn't been since before he and Jenny had gotten engaged. One day of sex with his beautiful, brilliant, amazing friend. No repercussions. Of course he wanted it. The problem was that there was never a true "no repercussions" clause. So, that's why he'd set the date. Two weeks was enough time to think. Both for him and for her. To figure out if one day of sex was worth the risk to either of their sanity.

Two weeks had NEVER gone by so mind-numbingly slowly. On the night of Alexis's graduation, they'd talked very briefly again. He'd asked her if she still wanted one day, and she'd said yes. So, he told her to come over around 4pm. They could make something for dinner and see where things went. They would have the whole 24 hours. At 4pm on June 5th, she would be on her way back home, back to her normal life, and they would go back to being friends. Nothing more. None of their friends, mutual or otherwise, were ever to know about it. They wouldn't understand. And they weren't going to risk it getting back to Castle, in any way. They were going to be 100% safe and smart about their One Day. Nothing was going to ruin it.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

On Saturday, June 4th at exactly 4pm, Alexis Castle knocked on Detective Kevin Ryan's door. Kevin opened his door almost immediately and welcomed her into his apartment. It was far from the first time she'd been in it, but it was the first time she'd been unsure of what to do.

"Relax, Alexis," Kevin closed the door behind her and gestured her into the kitchen. "I'm not just going to jump you. That's not what this is about."

"I know," Alexis laughed at herself, then toed off her shoes and followed him into his familiar kitchen. He had a pile of vegetables out on the countertop, some sliced up chicken breast that it looked like he'd just put into the wok on the stove, and an array of spices next to him that he started tossing in with the chicken. "Stir fry?"

"Yeah, it's easy and one of Javi's recommendations for me to make when trying to impress a lady," Kevin shot a grin and a wink at her. Alexis chuckled again, then set down her bag on a stool and rolled up the sleeves of her top.

"I guess my job is to cut these up?" She guessed, swinging the cutting board and some carrots into place in front of her.

"Mmm, would be nice," he replied, he let his fingers linger on hers as he handed her a knife.

Then he turned up the volume on his phone, which had been set to a music playlist of 60's and 70's music, the Eagles, Beatles, Zeppelin, some Elvis etc. She sang along to the tunes she knew with him and they danced around the kitchen together while chicken and vegetable sizzled away on the stove. As Alexis reached over him to add the last of the kale and swiss chard to the wok, he wrapped an arm around her waist. She let her own arms settle on his shoulders and he tucked his face against her neck. Singing softly along with "Build Me Up Buttercup," of all things. She'd maybe heard the song twice, usually while her dad was going through one of his nostalgic phases, but as she listened to this, with his hands on her waist, lips brushing against her neck every few syllables, she'd never loved a song more.

They turned a few circles, arms around each other, she found her mouth hovering just as closely to his neck as his mouth was to hers. She reached forward with her lips and kissed his Adam's apple, watching it bob a little as he swallowed. His singing faltered and she tried it again, this time kissing the hollow at the base of his throat. His singing stopped altogether and his hand slid lower from her waist to her hips, gently guiding them closer to his own. He lifted his head away from her neck, exposing more of his own for her to kiss and instead contented himself with a soft bite on the tip of her ear. Not something she'd ever considered to be an erogenous zone before, but that gentle nip sent butterflies straight to her stomach. She stretched herself up to reach his lips, but he just chuckled and released his hold on her.

"Easy, Lex," he murmured, voice low and rough. "Food's just about ready."

"Right," she sighed, pulling away from him. "Dinner. Who needs food, anyway?"

Her stomach grumbled and they both laughed. Kevin got a couple forks out while Alexis got a couple bowls and they portioned out the stir fry to eat over at the counter.

As much as it felt like every other meal she'd shared with Kevin over this counter, it was also immeasurably different. She usually had other work she was supposed to be paying attention to, he was usually dead on his feet tired. This meal, they were focused solely on each other. They ate while chatting about her plans for the summer and his most recent case, but somehow, they found ways to touch each other. She wiped sauce off his chin, he let their fingers dance together when he handed her the sriracha.

This routine was easy and she was comfortable. As much as the butterflies were flying in her stomach about what came next, she knew she trusted him and this one day was going to be wonderful. When they finished the meal, Kevin put their bowls in the sink and Alexis walked up to him from behind. She slid her hands around his waist and pressed her lips to the back of his neck.

"Thanks for dinner," She murmured, carefully letting her lips touch his skin, reaching up to kiss under his ear. "I was very impressed."

Kevin chuckled at that as he turned in her arms. She was grinning and he leaned down to place a kiss directly on her lips. Enough of the teasing. Kevin reached around her to the music still playing from his phone and turned his phone off. Not on silent. Off. "One day. 24 hours. I'm not going to waste it on anything other than you."

She blushed as red as her hair, then reached for her own phone and turned it off as well. Their next kisses got deeper, mouths opened, tongues touched tentatively at first, then started dancing together. Alexis sighed into Kevin's mouth and he gave a soft groan in return. He guided her out of the kitchen and they somehow made it to the couch. The wonderful couch that Alexis had always loved. They toppled onto it easily and he lifted his weight onto his elbows so he was raised slightly above her. She could still feel his heat and the suggestion of hardness from beneath the dark jeans he was wearing. It sent warmth straight to her groin as she tried to shift closer to him.

"What would you like?" Kevin phrased the question carefully, gently nipping at her earlobe as though he couldn't actually keep himself away from her.

"What do you mean?" Alexis asked, rather breathless from their makeout session. She'd have thought it obvious. They were going to have sex. Sex is what she wanted.

"I mean," he huffed out a soft laugh and pulled away from her to give them some space to breathe. "What do you want me to do to you?"

"Umm…."

"Ok, let me try again. What have you done sexually that you've enjoyed? What do you want to do again?" He asked, a smirk curling up one side of his mouth. It wasn't that he was enjoying watching her squirm, rather, it was that he was enjoying being the one to open her eyes to this. If their one day led her to being slightly better able to understand her sexuality, then maybe it wouldn't be a waste of a friendship after all. "Is there anything that you want to try?"

"I, uh, normally just do basic stuff? Like, girl on bed, guy in girl? Doggy style a couple times? Not really my favorite, but neither is the groping hands on breasts thing. Guys seem to think I love that, don't know why," Alexis stumbled her way through, not really prepared to _talk_ about sex, just to do it. She should have known he would want to talk.

"We like to squeeze them, we assume you like it too, but you really want something gentler, right?" He asked, his smile had softened while she rambled. He leaned down to focus on her breasts. "I'm going to try something. If at any point you want me to stop, just say it and I will. Ok?"

Alexis just nodded and watched as he lowered his head to her shirt. He shifted his body so that he was kneeling on the couch, knees on either side of her thighs and his hands moved to hold her just under her arms so that his thumbs were barely touching the edges of her bra. He gently kissed from her collarbone down the V of her shirt, his thumbs making slow circles at the sides of her breasts.

As soon as she sighed and let her head sink back into the couch, his hands disappeared. She opened her eyes and lifted her head again to look down at him, but he'd only moved his hands so he could slide them under her shirt. He gave her a questioning glance. Was it ok to take her shirt off? She raised her arms above her head in answer. She was wearing one of her favorite bras, comfort over sex appeal had won out, though it did have a little lace around the edge, it was dark blue with little white polka dot hearts. Kevin just smiled at it and turned his attention back to her breasts. His lips grazed the outer edge of each mound, though he never took the full breast in his hand, he once again let his thumbs wander just on the underside of each. Then, while his mouth stayed on one, his thumb swept over the nipple on the other. The soft fabric of her bra caught at the nipple, and Alexis felt herself hardening, goosebumps prickling up despite the warmth of his breath. He did the same thing to the other side, mouth teasing, a thumb caressing. She let herself sigh into the touch, her body shifting, reaching up to meet him. He reached behind her and undid the bra clasp. She let the straps fall off her shoulders and the bra was gone.

Now Kevin's thumbs were sweeping the underside of each breast while he took a nipple in his mouth. She closed her eyes and arched her back as his tongue swept over the pert nipple, running a circle around it, then over it, then a gentle flick at the tip. As he went to the other side. Alexis let out a soft moan before opening her eyes to watch him this time. His pupils were blown wide, eyes as dark as she'd ever seen them. As he flicked the second nipple, encouraging another arch of her back, he allowed himself a slow grin.

"Have you ever had someone go down on you?" He asked, barely more than a rough whisper, careful not to break her thrall. She couldn't say anything, so she just met his eyes and shook her head.

She assumed he meant something like a blowjob and, while she'd given them before, she didn't exactly have anything down there for him to suck on. Men "going down" on women was never in tv shows or movies or books or anything. It was always women "going down" on men. But after this trick with the breasts, Kevin had free reign to do anything he wanted as far as Alexis was concerned.

Alexis startled ever so slightly as she felt Kevin's kisses sink lower and lower down her torso. He grabbed the belt loops of her jeans and pulled her legs around so she was sitting more upright on the couch rather than laying down on it. He slid to his knees in front of her as he pulled down her pants. She helped him to wriggle her way out of them. Then he resumed his kissing on her inner thigh; his tongue and his teeth contributing just as much as his lips.

The sensation was incredible, the higher his kisses went to her groin, the more she noticed her body start twitching, her legs tensing, hips trying to press closer to him. When his mouth got to her already damp panties, she was a mess. Her hands were clenched into the cushions of the couch and his tongue started tracing patterns against the material. The gentle tugging the fabric made against her sensitive skin felt as if every nerve ending around her clit was on fire. She could feel every breath that he took.

"More," she pleaded softly, practically moaning as she lifted one of her hands to run through his hair, soft curls, no gel. Her plea came out of her mouth as a whimper when he hooked his fingers into her panties to pull them down. His mouth was liquid fire on her, his tongue probing and searching through her wet inner folds. It was amazing how much of him she was just _feeling _even though her eyes were closed. Kevin's tongue hit her center and she gripped his hair tighter, feeling her whole body tense like a piano wire. As he lapped at her, she whimpered again. His whole mouth closed over her and she felt him start to suck.

She moaned again, louder this time, barely able to hold it in. The lenient, steady, constant pressure right there was incredible. She'd never even dreamed of something like this before. Then his tongue started probing again, slipping inside her. Her fists, which had started to relax, clenched again. A finger joined the tongue and she gasped loudly. Then his tongue was gone altogether, replaced on her clit with a rubbing thumb, forefinger inside her; his mouth, teeth, and tongue reappeared at her inner thigh.

"I….I want…" Alexis groaned, she knew exactly what she wanted, she was so close, right on the fucking edge of something incredible. But she couldn't form words.

"What do you want?" Kevin's rough whispered words came to her from between her thighs. She tried to form words again, but all she made were more moans and whimpers. She was SO close. "Show me."

The words came to Alexis like a dream, of course she could show him. Why hadn't she thought of that before? She reached down, between her legs, to find his hand, she wanted his thumb where it was, but pressed it against herself harder. He continued his rubbing while maintaining this new pressure.

"Unnngggh," she gasped as she searched for just one more little thing. His second finger. She needed just a little bit more pressure inside. She grabbed his middle finger and tried to push it in with his forefinger. It didn't quite work as she was trying, but he understood what she wanted. His thumb relentlessly rubbed at her clit while he turned the rest of his hand so that two fingers could work their way deep inside her. She let her hips grind against him and when his tongue returned to her clit, she practically screamed. A long drawn out gasp. Her hips bucked once, twice, again. She had no control, couldn't think, had probably stopped breathing.

"Hold it," she muttered with the last of her air, pressing her hand hard against his. He stopped moving and simply held his pressure tight against her. She writhed against his fingers, breath coming in gasps and leaving in shudders and whimpers.

"Fuck," she groaned, climaxing hard against his fingers. His mouth, rather than returning to her thighs came up to devour her own mouth. She could taste herself on his tongue, salty and a little bitter, but not altogether bad. She felt her muscles clamp down and convulse against his fingers again and he was groaning right along with her, letting his hard cock thrusting against her hip.

She came down from her high to find him looking just as wrecked as she felt. His lips were dark red, face flushed, hair a mess of short tousled curls, and eyes so full and dark that she could drown in them.

"Fucking beautiful," Kevin gasped, pulling his hand away from her clit to pull off his own shirt and jeans. "You are so fucking perfect."

"Amazing," she murmured, framing his face with her one hand that she'd managed to reach up to him. As she became aware of the hardness he was still pressing against her, she realized that she could take more. She'd never been this wet in her life. They wouldn't need any lube. A condom. Then he could be inside her. She shivered and tried to tell him.

"Condom."

"You sure?" He asked, hesitating slightly before pulling a condom out from the end table drawer.

"Yes," she moaned, she'd never believed that women could have multiple orgasms until right this second. She felt like she would fall apart if he wasn't inside her again very, very soon.

"Hurry the fuck up."

He tried to laugh at her insistence, but he already had himself out and the condom on. After watching her cum, he was wound so fucking tight. He needed to be inside her just as badly.

A soft fumble, a shift in the position of her right leg and neither one of them could speak. Their mouths were hard on each other and he started slow thrusts into her. She clamped her inner muscles down on him the further he went in, she wanted to feel him. She could feel him shaking above her and that made her feel strong. She held him tight against her, rising up to let her mouth clamp down on his ear. He gave a deep groan and lost control of his steady thrusting. He slammed his cock harder into her and she loved it. Harder and faster. Both of them were panting, letting their hips grind together the closer they came.

"Ah, fuck, Alexis," he groaned, shuddering deep inside her. He was so close to the edge before he'd even gotten in her and with her inner muscles clenching all around him, it was too much. He grunted and the stars were dancing on the edge of his vision. He reached down, remembering in his lust exactly what had gotten to her mere minutes ago. The pressure. He held a hand down on her clit. She squirmed again, inner muscles tightening, and fuuuccckk he was coming. He thrust wildly, then held himself as steady as he could because her hips bucking into him was infinitely better than whatever he would do to her. Her entire body tensed beneath him and she groaned out his name, he leaned down, biting gently into her neck, then sucking it to soothe the mark.

Their breath mingled together as they came down from their highs, their lust. It was amazing. Best sex he'd had in a long, long time. She was so responsive and that had aroused him as much as anything. Alexis gasped in air, as if she was drowning. Her whole body seemed to still be shaking. As he slid out of her, she felt the muscles in her thighs twitch. He gave her a sweet, chaste kiss on the lips, before getting up from the couch to dispose of the condom.

"Wow," she murmured as he made his way back to her.

"Yeah," he replied, also still trying to recapture his breath, he climbed over her so her could wrap her up in his arms. He let his lips linger against her skin; he didn't ever want to let her go.

"So, again?" Alexis offered, craning her neck around to meet his eyes. They were a warm, dark blue now, the endless depths of lust had calmed away. He chuckled at her, kissing her forehead.

"Give me a few," he replied, jokingly. She needed some recovery just as much as he did. She nuzzled into his chest, kissing a pec before closing her eyes. She was warm, sated, comfortable, deliriously happy. He never could have imagined anything more perfect than what they had just done. But, he was thinking...

This was a terrible idea. He looked at the marks he'd covered her in, from the tremors that shook her thighs to the bite mark on her neck. There was no way this was One Day. He was hers. Utterly and completely. He should have known.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been a while, but I am still hoping to finish this fic! Ugh, so many ideas for it, but then life gets in the way and I can't quite figure out how I want to move from one event to another... All to be worked out eventually. Thank you all SO MUCH for the great reviews! Now on with more smut! And hopefully getting to some plot points next chapter ;)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"So," Alexis murmured, playing with the long, masculine fingers resting on her stomach. Her mind sluggishly trying to provide her mouth with words, but every time she felt his lips on her neck or his breath tickle her ear, the words just floated right away again.

"So?" Kevin exhaled back at her, catching her fingers with his and holding them down together on her stomach, forcing her to stay still and catch her thoughts.

"What's next?" She asked after a moment. "Normal date stuff? Do we watch a movie?"

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Hmmm… Not really."

"We could talk."

"About what?"

Kevin sighed, letting his nose nuzzle just behind her ear, and lowered his voice to barely above a whisper. "Ask me anything."

Alexis giggled at the sensation and turned her head just to meet his lips. The kiss was easy, chaste, barely more than the meeting of their lips, but with the pair still naked, entwined on the couch, it felt far more intimate. "How did you learn all of this?"

Kevin chuckled as he pulled away from her, shifting their positions to sit upright and grabbing his boxers off the floor. "I ask a lot of questions."

"To a lot of different women?" Alexis asked, not quite sure if she should be jealous of these mysterious other women, or grateful that they'd been a roundabout part of Kevin being able to give her incredible orgasms. She sat up with him though as he tossed the Beatles shirt he'd been wearing earlier at her.

"Some," Kevin shrugged, pulling on his boxers as she put the t shirt on. He sat back down on the couch next to her, putting his feet up on the coffee table and setting his arm on the back of the couch, inviting her to snuggle close again. Alexis didn't even hesitate, as soon as he was back down, she curled her legs underneath her and let her head fall back against the couch and his arm. "Wouldn't call it a lot though. Maybe eight or nine?"

"Yeah, I have no idea if that's a lot," Alexis replied, thinking back to how her father was before Kate. "My dad probably slept with eight or nine women per year before I was born. Or, at least, before I was observant enough to notice."

"Seriously?" Kevin glanced at her, surprised. He knew Castle was a bit of a ladies' man, but that seemed excessive.

"Well, possibly a bit of an exaggeration, but still." Kevin snorted, ruffling her hair and kissing her forehead. He loved that. She fit so perfectly next to him.

"So, what's your number?"

"Umm, 5? I think. Ashley was my first, then there was Pi… drunk frat dude, at a party… not-a-coke-head guy, picked him up from a club with Paige and Taylor… Aaand, now you. So. 5," Alexis counted them out in her head again as she felt Kevin chuckling at her.

"Not-a-coke-head guy? Really?"

"Yeah, he had the hair. And the bloodshot eyes. But we talked to him and he was actually pretty cool. And kind of sweet. And I did not actually see any coke in his apartment," Alexis summed up as Kevin continued to laugh. "What, you don't have any monikers for your women?"

"I do, actually. There was coffin girl, I told the team about her once, it was relevant to a case. She wanted to have sex in a coffin. I said no."

"So, she's not one of your nine?"

"No, she is. The coffin thing came up later and that's when we broke up."

"Ah, very reasonable," Alexis nodded pseudo-sagely. "Who else?"

"Well, if you want me to start at the beginning…" Kevin teased her, pretending to contemplate his whole life story. Alexis shoved at his chest and started to get up. Kevin just laughed at her again, pulling her back down and starting his story. "We can't start the story of my sexual awakening without my sister."

"What?!"

"Karen. I was probably around 12, she would have been about 18, and dating a public-school boy who showed her what condoms were. Of course, armed with this new information about how you could have sex without getting pregnant or an STD, she decided we needed to have an immediate family meeting, you know, minus our parents. Stacy and I were really too young to understand what she was talking about, but Gwen was all over it. There was most definitely a banana demonstration involved. And, that's how I learned about the birds and the bees."

Alexis was in tears of laughter at this point in the story. "That is amazing."

"Catholic school, man, the nuns conveniently leave out some very big life lessons… My kids are never going to catholic school, just an FYI."

"Is that for their own good or because you never want to face nuns again, even in a parent-teacher conference?"

"Ha. Funny," Kevin replied, sarcastically. "Honestly both though. Nuns are terrifying."

"Ok, so, after little Kevin learns about condoms at 12 years old, what happened next?"

"Well, we can just skip right ahead from there to where Kevin loses his virginity," Kevin offered, meeting Alexis's grinning eyes and smiling back. "Her name was Lea and we were 16. There was a lot of fumbling, some biting in places that shouldn't have been bit, a lot of apologies, and a fair few curses. We were together for about a year, learned a lot, but in the end we just drifted apart."

"Sounds a little like my first time with Ashley. I definitely had no idea what I was doing and he only had slightly more of a clue. It wasn't terrible though, he was really sweet to me."

"I'm glad to hear that, everyone has the right to a sweet first time."

"Yeah," Alexis sighed and snuggled back into Kevin. He squeezed her shoulder again, resting his head against hers, turned so that his lips were against her forehead. Alexis let the quiet wash over them, the hum of the air conditioning combined with the satisfaction of an orgasm seemed to be lulling Kevin close to sleep, so she let her mind wander.

Her eyes traveled along his torso, smooth muscles, but not obsessively sculpted like a gym rat. A light dusting of brown hair. A slight V in his muscles close to his hips… Her lips quirked up in a small smile as she moved one of her hands from resting at his side to sliding across his stomach. He gave a small grunt of surprise, but otherwise seemed to be content with her exploration. Alexis traced the outlines she could see of his abs, following the contours of his body down to the line of his boxers. She'd never had this quiet before, this post-coital haze. It was nice, to be able to explore a fit man's body without him being either twitchy or nervous or already passed out.

Alexis left her fingers barely touching the skin under his boxers as she looked over to meet his eyes. He was wide awake, watching her with a softness in his gaze.

"Is this ok?" She asked, pressing her fingers a little lower.

"Mmm," his face relaxed. "I trust you."

"Can I take them off?" she asked, toying with the waistband now. He gave a quiet snort and just lifted his hips so she could pull the boxers down. He was soft, smaller than her fleeting glimpses of other penises, but by no means anything to be ashamed of. Just average. She touched his velvety, smooth skin thinking of that. After that absolutely amazing orgasm he'd given her, the size really, truly, didn't matter. Kevin was Kevin. Her entire hand wrapped around his soft cock, squeezing just a little as she let her thumb run up to the tip. She heard his sharp intake of breath, felt him shift ever so slightly beneath her, and the flesh in her hand become slightly more firm. She tried again, this time using the pad of her thumb to circle around the tip as she tightened her fist. His breath let out in a shallow gust as he hardened just a little more.

Alexis loved having this freedom with him, it gave her confidence and more than a slight inclination to try to do for him what he had done to her. She wasn't a fan of giving blowjobs, she hated the feeling of her throat constricting when a guy tried to shove his cock down her throat. But this was different, in so many ways. Alexis slid off the couch, getting to her knees in front of him.

"Alexis," he murmured, not wanting his voice to break the moment. "You don't—"

"Hey," Alexis cut him off before he could finish the thought. "I want to. Just trying something. If that's ok?"

"More than," Kevin replied, voice still low, and he moved his legs farther apart, allowing her better access between them.

Alexis met his gaze and grinned at him. Kevin gave her a bemused smile back, cupping her face with one hand and stroking her cheek before leaning back to let her have her space to do what she wanted to do.

Alexis leaned into his thigh, breathing in through her nose, letting his musk fill her head. The tightening of his inner thigh muscles when her lips touched them was intriguing. She let her tongue trace a line from inner thigh to the crease of his groin. His cock twitched in her hand. She pulled gently at the loose skin of his scrotum with her tongue, finding that she could quite easily suck a ball into her mouth. His snort of laughter at that was in complete opposition to the tightening of his muscles under her hands, so she moved on. She thought about kissing the base of his cock first, then building her way up to the tip, but the tip was the most sensitive, wasn't it? What would happen if she started there?

Kevin had his eyes closed, letting Alexis continue her experimentation without the pressure of him watching. So the last thing he was expecting was the sudden wet warmth encasing the entire tip of his penis. He was still only partially hard, still recovering from his first orgasm of the night, but when her mouth engulfed more of him, a clever tongue swirling around the opening then twisting to trace the growing vein down his shaft, he grunted and gripped the edge of the couch to keep himself grounded. He groaned deeper in his throat as she continued to suck more of his cock in to her mouth, the more he grew, the more her tongue traced. It felt like mere seconds of this onslaught before he was fully hard again, sighing loudly as he fought to keep his hips still.

Alexis was loving this. The feeling of him growing harder, thicker inside her mouth, due to what her fingers and her tongue were doing was such a power trip. She could feel every muscle in his body tightening in reaction to her. The softness was completely gone, there was no extra skin left, her tongue pressed along a heavy vein and she imagined she could feel his heartbeat. She kept her tongue as tight to that vein as she could while she traced it back to the tip of his cock and when she sucked on the puckered tip, he whimpered, voice coming out in a near whine. She grinned to herself. Maybe blowjobs weren't that bad. She wrapped her fist around the base of him, spreading the saliva her tongue had left around him. After a second she realized it wouldn't be enough, so she pressed her cheeks together to get a decent mouthful of spit to cover him with. He groaned, deep deep in his throat as she spread that gob of spit over him. She rolled her tightened fist over him a couple times before settling her mouth back on him. She tasted his salty pre-cum as she touched his slit with her tongue again. She swallowed him as deeply as she could, letting her fist tighten around him where she couldn't quite reach.

One of his hands migrated to her hair, his fist tightening around the golden-red curls, but careful not to push her head. She started sucking, keeping the pressure as she pulled her mouth away from him, swirled her tongue around his tip again, and then swallowed him down once more. She repeated her movements again, varying the amount of pressure, amount of suction, following his cues, listening to his groans, heavy breaths, tightening of his thighs and his fingers. This was communicating. This was _amazing_.

Alexis pulled her mouth off of him completely, letting her fist take over for a moment so she could look up at his face. His blue eyes were back to dark, deep pools of lust. His face was flushed, lips parted, chest heaving.

"Are you close?" She asked, barely more than a whisper, afraid of ruining the moment, but also just really wanting to do for him what he had done for her.

"This is incredible," he murmured, unclenching his fist from the couch to stroke his thumb across her cheek.

"But?"

"Do you want me to be close?" He had to ask, when this started, she was just experimenting, he didn't want to cum in her mouth or on her hand if that had never been her intention with this.

"Yes," she replied after a moment, a dark blush staining her face. Kevin let his face break out in a genuine grin.

"Ok, tighten your fist a bit," he said, if she wanted to get him off, then that was exactly what she would get. Her fist curled a little more around him. "More."

This time her fist closed hard around him and he grunted.

"Perfect," he groaned as she returned to her original rhythm with this new hold. "A little faster and keep doing _exactly _what you were doing with your tongue before."

Alexis complied quickly and within seconds, Kevin was fighting a losing battle against his hips. His breath started coming in pants mixed with groans and the occasional swear and Alexis moaned around him, encouraging him with every twist of her fist and swipe and stretch of her tongue.

"Ah…. Lexis," Kevin panted, reaching down to warn her with a twist of his hand in her hair. "I'm gonna… Ugh… Fuck…. Gonna cum."

"Mmmm," Alexis moaned again over him and practically purred, somehow vibrating along his cock and he gave in, cumming hard into her mouth while she tightened her fist again, swallowing it all down.

"Fuck," he muttered again, dropping boneless back against the couch. "Fucking amazing."

"I think, maybe, I love blowjobs now," Alexis said, crawling back up to his arms. Kevin kissed her hard to keep himself from saying three words that he'd already promised himself he wouldn't tell her on their one day.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alexis wasn't quite sure how or when they managed to make it to his bed, but they did. They lay there, Alexis still wearing his shirt while Kevin wore nothing at all. They faced each other on the pillows, fingers curled together, talking softly about absolutely nothing.

"So, if you had the choice between invisibility and flight, what would it be?"

"Obviously flight, I want to see the world! How much easier would that be if I didn't have to buy and schedule for plane tickets?"

"But think of all the super secret spying you'd get away with if you were invisible!"

"You're such a cop."

"Mmm, but you would also have to consider your packing skills. If you're going to fly without any sort of cargo hold, what are you going to do with your clothes and things?"

"Ugh, yeah, I'd say that would have to merit some trips to the gym. Massive arms and abs coming right up."

The pair chuckled at each other then Kevin leaned in to kiss Alexis again. He couldn't get enough of her taste, the way her fingers would reach up to hold his head by curling into his hair.

"Why the gel?" Alexis murmured around his lips, tugging gently at the soft curls she'd grasped.

"Half of being an effective cop is your image," Kevin replied softly between kisses against her cheeks and her lips. "Can't have people telling me how cute my curls are while I'm trying to actually maintain some decorum."

"Makes sense, I guess," Alexis sighed, pulling away from him slightly to change her hands focus from his hair to his chest. "Like you better without it though."

"Mmm," Kevin mumbled, more focused on the leg she was moving to wind around his thigh than their conversation. "I've been told that before."

"Well, maybe you just need to get some wrinkles and grey hair, then you can stop wearing it," Alexis offered casually, lips caressing his neck and moving to nibble around his ear, the way he'd done to her.

"I'll get right on that," Kevin replied with a gentle chuckle, one hand running along the muscles of her thigh, inviting her leg further up to his hip.

They let the conversation fall away from them as Kevin's other hand reached around to pull her head away from his neck, guiding her back into the pillows so he could hover over her. Both of Alexis's legs wrapped high over his hips, he dropped his head to nuzzle at her collarbone while he gently rocked his hips against hers. Alexis let out a heavy sigh of contentment, fingers grasping at his waist but not quite digging into him.

Once again, this was a different intimacy than they'd had earlier. It was slower, almost languorous. Everything that had been on fire in her body before had shifted to glowing embers, a steady, consistent arousal, not overwhelming, not needy, just there and perfectly pleasant. She could feel that he was only partially hard, so she let her legs slowly slide down his body. They rested lightly wrapped around his calves while his movements slowed to rubbing their bodies together instead of the thrusting earlier.

"Is it always like this?" Alexis asked after a while of this easy, gentle movement.

"No," Kevin murmured softly, slowly retreating to his side again, but not parting their bodies in the slightest, keeping his head buried in her neck and chest.

"Oh," Alexis didn't know how to respond to that, or even if he was aware he'd let the response slip.

"I mean sometimes it is," Kevin backtracked slightly when she responded. "But not everyone…"

His voice trailed off and his arm tightened at her back, squeezing her as he pressed another kiss to her collarbone.

"Not everyone…" Alexis repeated, her own voice trailing off as she couldn't quite think of the words either. "Not everyone … fits… like this?"

"Mmmm," he responded, nose rubbing at the hollow of her throat while he pressed his lips against the top of her breast.

Alexis opened her mouth, words at the tip of her tongue to try to convince him that maybe it was a good idea for them to keep seeing each other after this One Day. After all, if this fitting was something special, wasn't that a very good reason to continue? As his head settled against her chest though, and his breathing slowed, she knew she didn't want to ruin this peace with reality. An argument was likely to follow. She closed her mouth again, toying with his soft hair as she too closed her eyes to give over to sleep.


End file.
